The Strange Misadventures of Mr. Nice Guy: Possibly The Most Awkward Merchant Ever

Mr. Nice Guy spluttered suddenly, glancing around wildly and shoving a hand over his mouth to stop the swamp water from flowing in, no matter how tempting the Forbidden Rainbow Juice looked. He thrashed and spun, kicking his way up, water spraying in all directions as he rather violently breached the surface of the water, clutching a lilypad like his life depended on it.

Now, Mr. Nice Guy had nothing against water. He loved it, in fact.

There was just the minor problem that if he were to stick his head underwater, he would creature a whirlpool of water that would all go down into his stomach/pocket-dimension that would flood the literal entirety of that. And seeing as though he had a lot of things in there-especially Dr. Crowell, most important of all-flooding them all with this strange, greenish water with rainbows across it would not be a good idea.

Mr. Nice Guy frowned for a moment, his mouth opening wider, before he sneezed, sending out a flying rainbow salamander that plopped down onto the lilypad, stared at him for a moment, licked its eye with unnerving eye contact, then fell into the water and disappeared again.

"Possibly related to the water balloons." he sniffed. "Mean creatures, those are."

Mr. Nice Guy then looked down at the large, soft green lilypad he clutched as though his life depended on it, then looked at the water he was shoulder-deep in, then cried out in surprise.

"Dr. Crowell!" he cried. "I got your jacket wet! I'm terribly sorry! I didn't mean to..."

The strange, eldritch creature paused, then glanced down at the rainbow waters and the tropical chittering of the native wildlife, then the faint, woody structures in the distance.

"Where am I, actually?" he exclaimed, crawling on top of the lilypad and sitting there like a reprimanded dog with his tail between his legs, curled up into a shaking little ball, because MAN those waters were cold.

"You're on a lilypad, idiot." came a melodious voice that surprised him, nearly causing him to fall straight off the lilypad.

Mr. Nice Guy croned his head upwards, which wasn't exactly that hard to do, having no neck but instead a strange attachment between his head and his body,

"OH!" exclaimed the voice in slight disgust. "What happened to your face?!" 

Mr. Nice Guy frowned, if only just mentally, and tapped his mouth's ring, then his smiley-disk, then his tentacles, which drooped downwards like a wet dog.

"I mean, I just swallowed a bunch of the Rainbow Juice. Wonder what that will do. Also, I'm Mr. Nice Guy. Who are you? And where are you?"

Out of the glorious, lively canopy suddenly appeared a strange-looking creature with dark blue fur and glowing pale green patches, a mix between a cat and a fox's face, and four pale green eyes that glowered malevolently at him, fire sparking along their tail that seemed otherworldly in nature, though he didn't quite know where he had gotten that information from, if he had at all and hadn't just made that up on the spot.

"I'm Zephyr." they snorted. "And I'm right here, doofus."

Mr. Nice Guy stared at Zephyr for a moment, then down at the lilypad.

"Can you help me get off this thing? I'm afraid I have disturbed the native wildlife." he said pathetically, staring at the ground.

Zephyr glared at him for a moment, then sighed and stretched out their forearms, xer silky fur shaking as they stretched, revealing the strange absence of hind legs, then scowled at him. "What do I get in return?"

"The power of friendship." Mr. Nice Guy said immediately, then tapped his ring, thinking, before he let out an almighty sneeze and sneezed out the vial with the slime inside, which had for some reason turned a vibrant shade of purple. "And...Mr. Ball Man, who is not quite a ball right now, but is very vicious." he said excitedly, nodding and handing the vial to Zephyr, who sighed and took the vial, glaring at the contents before he put it in the pouches slung around his neck and body.

"Deal." xey sighed, reaching down to grab Mr. Nice Guy and pull him out of the swamp.

Which took about a whole while longer than Zephyr would ever admit, because Mr. Nice Guy was not exactly a feather.