Blood Stained: Chapter 8: Emptiness

Blood Stained

Chapter 8: Emptiness

She heard the door open, yet her eyes remained closed, and her body refused to move. Kagome was aware of their presence near her, but she made no effort to indicate she was awake; she doubted it mattered anyway. They had come because he had ordered them, and they couldn't care less about her. After all, Kagome knew they had knowledge of what had transpired, yet nobody had done anything to stop it, not that they could have. Maybe she was simply drowning herself in self-pity; she wasn't sure yet. Everything around her seemed meaningless at the moment, as her arms were tightly wrapped around her legs. Kagome felt a hand pressed against her back, and she sighed when she realized they knew she was not sleeping. After one last deep breath, she raised her head, before dragging her heavy body to the edge of the bed. She did not even bother to look up at their faces, since she did not care for them, or their opinions.

No words were needed from them as she walked towards the bath herself, her feet dragging on the floor as she walked. It felt as if her whole body weighted a ton, and even she could not move it, but that wasn't as bad as her shattered heart. Fighting the tears, she softly shook her head, bringing herself back to the painful reality. There were no fairytale, or prince charming, only savage youkais, and their cold icy heart. When Kagome reached her destination, the fact that she was still naked fell upon her, yet she did not feel shame. Instead, she slowly immersed her body into the water, pushing aside the scorching heat of the liquid against her skin. Only the pain from her arm was hard to ignore. The dry blood quickly colored the water into a soft pink shade. At least the bleeding would stop.

Apart from that injury, which had been inflicted by herself, she had no other wounds. It seemed he had refused to leave any mark on her, which meant, this time, there was no blood on the outside to clean, nor any new wounds around her womanhood. The injuries were somewhere she could not reach; in her mind. Kagome was trying to figure out if this time was worst than the previous one. It shouldn't have been since this time she knew what to expect; yet it had been a complete shock. Sesshomaru had tried to be nice while raping her; as if that would have made the whole thing better. Then again, she could not comprehend him and his double personality; one moment he was clearlydisgusted by her, while the other he was ravaging her body, permission or not.

Kagome felt a wet cloth on her shoulder, and she knew they had started to wash her. While being somewhat careful, they rubbed off invisible dirt off her body, not paying attention to her pain. She was extremely tired, yet rest would not come until these two youkais were gone. She figured the more she complied with them, the faster they would leave her alone. Without a warning, one of them dipped her head in the water, wetting her hair. Kagome's head was completely under water, and for a split second, she felt good. There were no sound not even the sound of her breathing, everything was completely quiet. Nobody was with her down there; if she stopped breathing just a little longer, there would never been anyone else. And then, a few seconds later, the neko youkai yanked her hair, bringing her back to the surface, where Kagome took a deep breath.

She turned her head in direction of the bedroom, where she could see a kimono. This one was much simpler than the previous one, which had been wrecked by Sesshomaru's bestiality. It was a bright peach color, and along the sleeves and bottom hem, there were white shibori tie-dye mists drift, and over the mists there were dark orange tulips. The obi, which was resting on top of it, was a white so pure, it was almost blinding. Without a second glance, Kagome looked away; she couldn't care less about his fancy clothes. If any of this was up to her, she'd be naked wrapped up in warm blankets, and she wouldn't come out for the next year. Of course, Sesshomaru proved her many times since their faithful encounter that he would not let her have her way.

Suddenly, hands grabbed her arms, and she was lifted from the water. A beige towel was wrapped around her body, before she stepped out of the bath. Her wet hair was dripping down her back, and the towel, but she kept walking forward. Kagome was very well aware they would remain in the room with her until she was dressed. Suffering written all over her face, she dropped the towel, even though she was not completely dry, and picked up the delicate kimono. The silk felt soft against her skin, but she did not enjoy it. It was his luxury. As quickly as her hands permitted her, she put it on, and tied it. Slowly, she turned around to face the two neko youkais, who satisfied that she was dressed, were already getting ready to leave. One of them nodded before picking up her wet towel. Without a word, they granted her wish, and left her alone in the spacious bedroom.

In relief, Kagome let her body drop on the soft bed, her eyes already closed. There wouldn't be much interruption for the next little while, and she would enjoy this moment of peace by sleeping. Her eyelids felt extremely heavy, but it was not because her body was tired. Her mind was drained, causing her body to slowly give up, and go into a slumber, which Kagome gladly welcomed. Unaware to her, as she fell asleep, was that Sesshomaru was only a few meters away from her, standing near her door.

"She did not struggle this time my Lord," said one of the youkai before bowing. Even she had been surprised by the lack of fighting that came from the miko. But, of course it wasn't her place to question what had taken place, plus she already had an idea of what had occurred.

The other female came forward, while being careful to not look at Sesshomaru in the eyes. "I do believe she is now sleeping Sesshomaru-sama."

Sesshomaru nodded, and gestured for them to leave him, which they immediately did. Something had seemed different in the miko when he had left her, yet he had been unable to determine what it was. It didn't really care, but he had no intention of finding her dead body inside his castle, thus, he had ask multiples of his servants to check up on her once in a while. She was truly proving to be a lot more trouble than she was worth, but, as much as it killed him, she was in a way his responsibility, and he would not have her kill herself, especially under his watch. Once again, he had failed to control his beast, but he blamed her; she should learn how to be more careful. It hadn't been a small cut, and the amount of blood she had lost had weakened his control.

It was probably hard for her to understand why he pushed her away one moment, but took her body the next, but it was bothering him more than it was her. Sesshomaru sensed that it was time to have a conversation with his beast. Obviously, he knew his beast's answers and arguments, but maybe he would be able to give himself some time. He could not let such events repeat themselves over and over again. They were mated, and there was nothing wrong with the act itself, but he found it disgusting. He could still feel himself within her warm, wet sheath, and it repulsed him. Unlike his father, he was in no way attracted to ningen, and their bodies, and the simply thought of fucking them was revolting. He needed to try and prevent this from happening again, but first, he needed to wash her filth off his body.

After one last glance to the door, he turned around, in direction of his own chambers. Abruptly, a voice coming from down the hall caused him to stop in his tracks. “Sesshomaru-sama!”

He did not need to see her to know the voice belonged to Rin. He slowly turned his body, only to find the little girl standing in front of him, a worried look painted over her face. “Sesshomaru-sama, is Kagome still hurt?” She asked, playing with her hands.

Sesshomaru sighed heavily; he did not wish to see Rin upset, especially over her. “The miko is fine.” As he looked at Rin, he could already tell the next question. “She is resting, you may see her later once she is awake.”

Rin nodded, a radiant smile on her face. She had been extremely worried over Kagome’s injury, and she had been able to hear some muffle screams a few moments ago, which hadn’t helped either. She knew Sesshomaru-sama wouldn’t lie to her, and her concerns were put at rest. “Thank you Sesshomaru-sama,” she politely answered, before walking away.

Sesshomaru watched her leave slowly, before doing the same. His own chambers weren’t for from hers, at his request, yet it displeased him to have her so close. Although, compared to most humans, her scent was tolerable. He did not enjoy it, hence the desire to clean himself from it, but he could be around her without a sickening feeling taking over. The same went with Rin of course, he made sure that her scent was nothing short of perfect.

His two guards were quickly dismissed as he entered his own rooms. Nothing that had happened these last few days had been planned; yet he had been able to somewhat handle the situation. Although now, he had another kind of problem on his hands; pups. It was obvious that if the miko were a full youkai, he would know for a fact that she was pregnant, but now it wasn’t a certainty. If the fertility level between youkais and ningens were normal, than she was, if it was lower, than she might not be. Sesshomaru wouldn’t mention anything to her, although the thought had probably crossed her mind, but he would monitor her closely, and he would be looking out for any signs.

Slowly Sesshomaru removed his kimono, or at least what he had put on, and once he was fully naked, walked in direction of the bath. In one swift movement, he immersed his whole body into the warm water, immediately experiencing a feeling of cleanness. Sesshomaru decided that this would relax him, and perhaps now was time to have a discussion with his beast. He already knew nobody would dare interrupt him, thus the other people in the castle were of no worry to him.

He was well aware that it might not work, as he had not talk with his beast in years. The last time, he had been but a pup, still maturing. Considering the last actions of his beast, it would have been wiser to have tried it earlier on, but this would require all of his attention, and until now, he had not possess a safe environment for Rin. Sesshomaru set himself more comfortable in the water, before closing his amber eyes tightly shut.

A low growl came out of him, almost causing a vibration through his chest. His eyes remained closed, as he patiently waited. It was more than a probability that his beast was as angry with him, as Sesshomaru was with it. Obviously the reasons were extremely different, but nonetheless, he knew he might be waiting for a while. Although, the beast mood should have been improved from the latest interaction with the miko. Sesshomaru remained motionless, as he waited for an answer.

“Mate.”

Sesshomaru sighed in annoyance, why did his beast only have the pitiful miko in mind?

“She is resting, and clearly upset from your actions.”

He could hear the growls, and soft cries of pain his beast was emitting, which disgust him. She did not deserve to be this important or valuable to any part of him. She would never be worthy to be his mate. Never.

“Mate was not pleased?”

Anyone could tell that him and the miko were never meant to get along, which brought his mind back to the reason he had wanted to talk to his beast.

“Obviously not. Why would you take an unwilling, ningen as our mate? Why would you pick her?”

“Because she is ours. He was going to claim her soon. We couldn’t let that happen.”

Sesshomaru easily assumed the he was his half-brother. Although, it didn’t really matter who it was since anyone could have taken the miko, and he wouldn’t have cared less.

“She will do nothing but taint our blood. That worthless hanyou is already proof that enough damage has been done. There would have been no harm in him taking her, and diluting our blood further.”

“She was not his to take. She belongs to us, and he does not deserve mate. Why aren’t we with mate?”

It seemed his beast could not go long without wanting or desiring the miko. This was making the conversation a lot more difficult than it had to be.

“Because the thought of being with her is nothing short of repulsive, and she feels the same. She despised everything you’ve done to her.”

“Mate does not understand. I have no choice, you treat mate badly.”

Sesshomaru was almost certain that the miko preferred his coldness to his touch. Of course, that proved she was slightly insane, but it was beside the point. He had other matters he wanted to get to.

“You will not take over this Sesshomaru’s body again, without his permission.”

“We need mate. Without me, you wouldn’t go near her. If I hadn’t done it, mate wouldn’t have been ours. She wouldn’t be carrying our pup either.”

He hissed out loud at the mention of her carrying his pup, his eyes flashing red for a second. Everything that pleased his beast disgusted him to no end.

“We do not know that for certain yet.”

“Mate is still in her heat. If she is not, we will take her again, until she is.”

The simple thought of being inside of her again, was enough to repulse him. If he could have his way, by the end of this conversation, he would never take the miko again. That would please him.

“We will not take the miko again. This Sesshomaru refused to be involved with the onna again. And she is certainly not worthy to carry our heir.”

“Mate is the only one worthy of our seeds. I will take her again. You cannot stop me.”

“She despised you every time you do so.”

“Mate will learn. Mate will submit, and learn to love our touch.”

It felt as if his beast was a wild animal that could not be reasoned with. Although it bothered him when he said he could not stop him, it was the truth. He had tried every time, yet his control had failed him.

“I could kill her, or get rid of her.”

“I would not let you do it.”

“What would pupping her at such time bring us?”

“Mate is a born to be a mother. Mate will stay if she has pups. Then, she will begin to understand.”

That might be the only thing he couldn’t deny about her. He had seen the way she interacted with the kit, or even his ward. Motherhood came naturally to her, and there was no denying she would excel at it, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to have his pups. Now his problem was, he didn’t have any arguments to convince his beast that this would have be a mistake.

“If you take her again, and go against my order, This Sesshomaru will find a way to seal you away. And then, there is nothing you will be able to do to prevent me from getting rid of the miko.”

“There is no way for you to seal me away. I am you, I am not a power, or an aura you can seal away like you did with Mate’s powers.”

“Taking her against her will won’t bring you her love.”

“Mate will learn to love us. She is ours to take over and over again. I will show her the pleasure of our touch.”

Sesshomaru could feel his patience wearing thin. Rin who was nothing but a child did not argue against him like this. He did not desire to pup or take the miko again, but his beast refuse to not have his way.

“I would not need to take over if you didn’t stay away from Mate. I need to compensate for the lack of attention we get from her because of you.”

“If this Sesshomaru was around the miko more, you would stop coming?”

“Not around her, you need to touch her, we need to feel her.”

“This Sesshomaru refuse to touch her.”

“Then there is nothing left to be said. Mate will be pupped, if she is not.”

Sesshomaru growled before hitting the edge of the bath beside him, breaking off some of the rocks. He knew he had lost his beast, and that it was now upset. There was no way for him to distance himself with the miko, since his beast would only come back for her. Sesshomaru stood up, water drops sliding down his naked body, somewhat annoyed. Nothing, nothing was going according to what he desired. Maybe he needed to talk with the miko. It was obvious she wouldn’t want to see him, but he would tell her about his beast. Maybe it would make her be more careful next time.

He quickly dressed himself with a new kimono, which would soon be tainted with her scent anyway, and headed, outside of his chambers. He was quick to notice the looks of his guards, who had probably heard the growls from his conversation with his beast. Sesshomaru glared at them, and they were quick to look away, scared of his wrath. A small smirk on his lips, he walked down the hall to the miko’s room.

Sesshomaru was aware he could knock, and make his presence known, but this was his castle. He opened the door without a warning, only to find the miko sound asleep, lying diagonally across the bed. She was sleeping on her stomach, her face buried in one of the pillows. The scent of tears and agony was bothering his sensitive nose, and with a sigh, and walked over to the bed.

This was way too soon to tell if she was pregnant, and in a way, he wish he could find out she was. At least his beast might stay away from her if she was indeed carrying his pup. Sesshomaru sat up on the edge of the bed, and approach his nose from her sleeping form. Even though it was useless, he still tried to catch a different scent from her. He was nothing but surprise when he came to conclusion that it wasn’t different from before.

Kagome frowned slightly in her sleep, causing Sesshomaru to back away slightly. She could feel a dark presence, even without her powers, and she did not like it. At first, she thought it came from her nightmare, but once she opened her eyes, and saw him sitting beside her, she realized it was reality. Her heart stopped beating for a second, and she could not stop looking at him. Why was he there? Why had he come back so soon? Surely he did not want to take her again? Not so soon… Quickly she sat up, and backed away from him, by going to the other edge of the bed. She held her kimono tightly shut with one of her hand, while glaring at him the best she could.

“Miko, this Sesshomaru will not take you again,” he said, his tone clearly showing how he felt about her. Once again, he was bothered by thoughts of his previous actions.

Kagome scoffed. “You said that before,” she answered, her voice filled with venom. She would not make the mistake of believing that lie again.

“In reality, this Sesshomaru was never the one to mate, or take you.” He was staring straight into her gray eyes, no lies apparent in his.

She stared at him slightly confused, and intrigued. “I think I can recall the events. I was the one being raped, twice.” Kagome couldn’t help but wince at her own words. She was trying to put up a strong façade in front of him, while inside she was crumbling to pieces.

It was true that it could be slightly confusing since his exterior appearance almost looked the same whether he or his beast was in control. “Miko, this Sesshomaru stand by his words that he does not desire you.”

“Then why rape me?” The word hurt her every time, but she wanted to say it. Kagome knew Sesshomaru did not see anything wrong with his actions, but she wanted to try and remind him that she did; even if he didn’t care about her feelings.

“This Sesshomaru’s beast is the one who desires you.” He expected her to have a few questions, and probably be confused. He had desired to keep this from her, but if his beast refused to stop, there weren’t many ways around. He refused for her to think she was special and that he desired her over more worthy females. It would also make it easier for her to understand that when he said he did not want her, he meant it.

Kagome bit her bottom lip; his beast? She wasn’t very familiar with youkais, and everything surrounding them. She knew the basis she had picked up while traveling and fighting, but that was where it stopped. It didn’t make sense to her how he could despise her, but his beast could want her. “I don’t understand,” she bluntly answered.

“This Sesshomaru’s beast has a mind of its own, and it has apparently chosen you as our mate. Every intimate interactions that happened were will this Sesshomaru’s beast was in control.”

Kagome’s breathing had accelerated as she tried to think it through. It did explain his red eyes every time he raped her. She felt a small panic take her body over, as it all hit her. There was this beast that desire her, and even the powerful Taiyoukai could not stop it? He was repulsed by the thought of her, yet every time, his beast had come through and taken her anyway?

“Can you stop him?” she asked, her voice slightly broken. It almost felt like a waste of a question.

This tone, Sesshomaru sounded annoyed. “Miko, do you really believe that if this Sesshomaru could stop this he wouldn’t have? This Sesshomaru does not desire your body contrary to what you may believe.” He was already bothered by the situation enough with her being thrown in the mix.

Then came the obvious question. “Why me?”

She was supposed to represent everything he hated, and everything he wished he didn’t have in a mate. Why would his beast be so different from Sesshomaru? The only common thing she could find right now was that they were both monsters in their own way. For the first time in a few hours, her eyes tear up, and darkness filled her mind.

“This Sesshomaru does not know.”

Kagome softly nodded, the tears threatening to fall. She would have no pity for Sesshomaru, even if he did not wish for this situation. It might have been his beast in control of his body, but it didn’t change the fact that he had still been doing these actions. The beast was a part of him, which to her still made him responsible for all the actions. He might not desire them, but it was still his fault. Also, maybe he could have learned to have better control over his beast.

He might have explained things to her, but it did not make her hate him any less. Nor did it make her feel better, since it meant that these actions had little chances to be stopped. “Will he take me again?”

Sesshomaru frowned slightly as he remembered his beast’s words. “He desires to pup you.”

Kagome’s mouth opened slightly, trying to process his words. His beast wanted to pup her? She felt her eyes widen, as she looked down at her stomach. Her mind had been distracted with her previous mistreatment, and she had felt so empty this time, that thought of pregnancy hadn’t even crossed her mind. Slowly she put her hands on her stomach, and slightly rubbed it. Then, she raised her head and looked at the youkai in front of her, hatred in her eyes.

“Am I pregnant?” she asked, her voice shaking.

Sesshomaru stared at her straight in the eyes, his gaze cold. “It is impossible to say at the moment, which is why it will try until the end of your heat.”

She softly nodded her head, one tear rolling down her cheek. If she didn’t leave, he would do this again, and he might create a child in the process. “I could leave.”

“Even if you left, do you really believe you could outrun or hide from this Sesshomaru?” There was nowhere she could hide that he could not find her; after all, she was nothing but a ningen.

Kagome bit her bottom lip, wondering if she should tell Sesshomaru the truth. After all, it seemed as if he did not desire this either, and if Sesshomaru let her go to the future, he wouldn’t be able to track her there. Of course there was also the possibility that he would think she was crazy, and he wouldn’t believe her. In a desperate moment, Kagome believe being honest might save her. “You wouldn’t be able to follow me in the future,” she said, her voice extremely soft.

Sesshomaru remained silent, but stared at her. The future? Why this miko trying to say she came from the future? It sounded completely insane, although… it did explain some things, like her clothes, her attitude, or the weird objects he found in her bag. He had never seen such things before. “Explain,” he ordered.

She closed her eyes, and almost sighed in relief. His calm and interested tone was almost a good sign. Now the only problem was how to explain or where to start. “I’m from five hundred years in the future,” she stopped for a second to look at his face, but his expression never changed. “I-I travel through the well, by Kaede’s village.”

The well? Well that explained what she had been doing at the bottom of the well the last time she tried to run away from him. Although, it was strange since it appeared it hadn't worked, or he wouldn't have caught her. “It seems the well works anymore, or you wouldn’t be here right now.”

Kagome could remember very well the day she had tried to escape him, and failed; she had a mild breakdown. She raised her arm, almost shoving the bracelet in his face. “It’s because of that stupid bracelet. Without my powers, I can’t go through.”

He inspected her face for a few seconds, trying to see hints of lies. “How can this Sesshomaru know if you’re telling the truth, or trying to fool him into removing the bracelet?” Sesshomaru knew she was not a complete idiot, and she wanted the bracelet off ever since he put it on, hence why he had to be careful.

She felt anger rise through her body, as she bit down harder on her lip. “I do not lie. You think I jumped in the well to hide from you that day? I’m not that stupid! Don’t you think I know that even with my powers I don’t stand much of a chance, especially when I’m in your castle, surrounded by your guards!” It was true that she wanted to escape, but she wasn’t an idiot, she wouldn’t run for the first exit.

There was no trace of lie, or nervousness in her scent, which made him somewhat trust her. He took her hands in his, and inspected the bracelet. According to that dark miko all he had to do was slide it off. He put his hand on the bracelet, ready to remove it, and Kagome felt herself smiling inside. She was going home. Suddenly, she felt his movements stop, and she looked at him, trying to understand why. Had he change his mind? Then, a cry of pain came out of his body, and Kagome’s hand went for her heart right away. It was as if her heart was being squeeze from the inside, and the hold on it wouldn't loosen. Suddenly even the simpler things became hard to do; breathing, or moving. It scared her because she knew this pain.

There it was the same heart wrenching pain from before. More tears fell down from her eyes, as the pain continued. Had he been the cause of her previous suffering? All those times she felt like her heart was being ripped apart it was because of him? Sesshomaru raised his head, and she could see his red eyes, as he threw his head back. His hold on her wrist tightened, and she tried to pull away. “Stop! You’re hurting me!” she screamed as the pressure he applied started to cut blood from going to her hand.

Slowly, he let go of her arm, and his cries died down. Before Kagome could move away, Sesshomaru buried his face in the crook of her neck, little cries of pain escaping his throat. Kagome couldn't help but freeze, unable to move; she knew what was Sesshomaru's beast goal, and as far as she was concerned, she desired to remain extremely far from it. "I won't let you leave. You belong to me, you're mine."

Kagome's body slightly started to shake at the sound of his voice. Memories and flashbacks flooded her mind, as she tried to back away. Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around her waist, and held her tightly against his body; he wouldn't let her move. "Please," she begged. She didn't want him to take her again; she couldn't take it. She could feel his mouth on her skin, slowly kissing and licking it, and just the feel of it was enough to discuss her. She shut her eyes close tightly, wishing it all away. She didn't want this monster to impregnate her, if he hadn't done it already. She couldn't even understand why he would want to do it. Surely the beast and Sesshomaru could be on a same ground level right? Did Sesshomaru really completely lose control every time?

Sesshomaru moved down to her collarbone, which he lick, slowly. The pain he had felt when the bracelet had almost been removed was indescribable, and now, he was quite upset. The simple thought of her leaving him was enough to drive him mad. He would never allow her to get away from him, especially not to that future of hers. If she ever had a shot to go there, he knew she would take it. He would made sure she never got that opportunity. Sesshomaru knew that if she was pupped, it would trigger something inside of her; she wouldn't risk the baby, and she wouldn't try to leave him. Plus, he firmly believed she was born to be a mother, and it would make her extremely happy to be pregnant. He was willing do to anything to keep her by his side. Being far from her was too painful.

Then he felt it.

He pulled away from her, his hold remaining, and started to sniff around. Kagome's breathing was sharp, as she tried to look around, confused. Then, Sesshomaru growled, and instantly pressed her against his body, in a very possessive manner. Kagome gasped at the contact with his hard chest, almost scared, and her tears burning her skin on contact. Sesshomaru slightly opened his mouth, showing off his fangs. "He's here."

Kagome stared at his face, confound. He? For a split second, it was confusing, but then, she understood. There was only one person who could get the beast on its guard like that, and make him protective of her in such a manner. He was afraid someone that would take her away, and the only person who would come to do that was... Inuyasha. Kagome sharply inhaled, her eyes completely empty, as one single tear fell down. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see him, but she couldn’t let Sesshomaru hurt him could she? She stared at the angry red-eyed beast in front of her, and took a deep breath. No, she had not forgiven Inuyasha for his actions, but she did not desire to see him dead.

Although she had no idea how to communicate with the beast currently holding her. She had never been able to stop him from doing anything in the past…

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