Blood Stained: Chapter 20: Rainy Days

Kagome's Pregnancy:Entering its 2nd month.

Blood Stained

Chapter 20: Rainy Days

She felt the dryness of her throat, as she gently opened her eyes bringing herself out her deep slumber. Kagome's body felt extremely heavy, as she titled her head to the side slightly feeling constrained. It was at that moment she realized the feeling was real, because his arms were tightly wrapped around her waist, her back firmly pressed against his sturdy chest. She turned her head to take a look at his face. She was shocked to find herself staring into a set of red eyes, even though it was bright daylight outside.

He gently bent down capturing her parted lips with his, Kagome still too confused to react. The kiss was short and he pulled away quickly. His eyes still fixed on her, as they slowly began to change in front of her. Kagome observed intensively as the red turned back to white and gold. She stiffened in his embrace.

Once his eyes came back to normal he slowly blinked before releasing the hold he had around her. His fade back in place, gracefully Sesshomaru left the bed and Kagome could swear she could see a hint of anger on his face, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come. Silently she struggle to sit up in the bed, as soon as she managed to do so she pressed her head against the headboard. When Kagome turned her head to the side she found herself staring at Sesshomaru's naked ass, and her eyes widen at the realization he had been sleeping with hernaked.

"You are not dressed yourself, Miko."

She didn't even worry about the fact he knew what she had been thinking about, but panicked at her current nakedness. Kagome could clearly remember going to bed with all of her clothes on,whathappened? "Did he…?" she asked, unable to finish her sentence. Surely if he had taken her body she would have woken up right?

Sesshomaru's back was still facing her as he was slowly getting dressed.

"No, Miko. He spent the last three days laying by your side."

It took a few seconds for the information to reach her brain. When it did she nearly gasped.

"Th-three days?" she stuttered.

"It appears your illness is back and he refused to leave until you awoke."

At least it explained Sesshomaru's bad mood. He had no control over his own body for nearly three days. Kagome had no recollection whatsoever of what happened during those days and contrary to last time, except for being dehydrated, she didn't feel as if she had been out for quite that long. She brought her hand to her forehead checking for a fever, but her temperature seemed completely normal. Since she was already naked she decided she might as well take a dip in some cold water, justin case. She observed Sesshomaru, making sure he was still not looking in her direction, and almost ran towards thebath.

Sesshomaru heard her footsteps as he finished tying up his clothes, ready to exit the room. For three days now, he had been pushed and locked inside his own body. Doing nothing but laying around with his arms wrapped around the miko. The beast had refused to give him control in fear that Sesshomaru would leave her once again. This time compared to other times, Sesshomaru had been able to feel what his beast was feeling, and it was quite repulsing. All the worries he had for the miko's state, his feelings for her, all of it, had been very present. Perhaps he had not felt it before because the beast had never been in control for so long in the past.

He didn't even throw a glance her way as he made his way out of the room. He had been locked in there for way too long in his opinion. He had despised every second his beast had kept control and only one thing had come out of it, in his opinion. Since the beast had been in control for so long Sesshomaru had been able to hear more of his thoughts than usual.

He came to understand that the plan was slowly working. The beast seemed extremely happy with Kagome's reactions to their conversation they had and the next step would be for the beast to trustSesshomaruaround Kagome. That would be a lot more difficult, since Sesshomaru didn't feel as inclined to pretend as she was. He had no interest in any type of contact, but he was willing tomake it looklike he waspreoccupiedwith her well-being. That alone should be enough.

As Sesshomaru was leaving, Kagome was entering into the cold water. Goose bumps appearing on her skin as the water touched it. At first it seemed like a good idea, but now she was reconsidering it even though it was necessary. She took a deep breath before immersing the rest of her body into the water, resting her head on the edge. It appeared the beast had been right in his words 'shewouldbe sick again'. Although this time she hadn't felt as bad as last time, she had made the illness very unexpected. At the moment, she was feeling perfectly fine, except for a slight nauseous feeling, which she hoped would go away soon. Nausea was the worst of it and Kagome hated vomiting, she made a mental note to drink some tea as soon as she exited the bath.

Three days. There was no way being unconscious for so long was good for her, or the baby. Kagome lowered her hands to her stomach, a look of worry showing in her sad eyes. Perhaps there was something she could do with her diet? In her time a lot of women would take vitamins and other supplements while they were pregnant. Maybe it would help her? Although, she didn't know everything she had to eat, it could be a start, as long as she would be able to keep the food down. She sighed heavily before dipping her whole body in the water, cleansing away the sweat and grease from her hair. Kagome couldn't help but feel slightly refreshed as she emerged from the water. Once she had rinsed off her whole body she stood up, grabbing a towel, which she securely wrapped around her body. She had no idea if Sesshomaru was still around and she had no desire to be nakedagainaround him.

As she walked into the bedroom she noticed it was completely empty. With a sigh she sat down on the bed not noticing the kimono under her. When Kagome did take notice of it she gently moved it, assuming one of the servants had brought it. The silk kimono was a bright yellow color with a subtle white damask weave on the bottom hem, it shimmered in the light revealing pink and yellow peonies and plum blossoms that had been carefully stitched along the side of the kimono. There was also a light yellow shining sash was carefully resting on top of it.

It was ironic how many times she could have worn the proper miko attire, but every time she always remained in her school uniform. Butnow, all she ever wore was made to make her fit into this time era. Something she had tried to avoid. She didn't do that because she hated the time period, it was just because it wasn't hers. It was also because of where she truly belonged. She was Kagome, the miko from the future, why bother looking like the rest of them, when there would always be something strange about her?

Now though she had no choices, and she doubted her uniforms hadn't already been shredded by now. As long as she would live with him she would wear these clothes. Pretend she was not who she was. Her exasperation heavy, she dropped the towel before covering her body with the kimono. The one positive side Kagome could see to this was how soft and nice it felt against her skin. Obviously that was due to the horrific prices Sesshomaru probably paid for it.

Her fingers were slightly shaking as she tied up the sash, probably due to her current state so she did not pay to much attention to it. Her body did not feel as if it had much energy, yet she had been sleeping for a while. Nonetheless, she stood up, and began to walk in the direction of the kitchen where she would get some food, even if her stomach wasn't completely settled.

It only took her a few minutes to reach the kitchen and when she did, the cook bowed to her. He wondered if she would cook for herself once more or if he would be the one to prepare her meal. She shyly smiled before walking a little closer to him. "Do you have fish?" she asked, her voice slightly raspy, probably from not using it for a few days.

He nodded. "What type of fish My Lady?"

Kagome didn't think the type would make a different, so she simply shrugged her shoulders.

"Any would be fine."

"It'll be my pleasure, My Lady." He bowed to her once more as he spoke.

She whispered athank youbefore walking in the direction of the imposingly long empty kitchen table. She took her usual seat in the middle of the left side. As she looked through one of the windows she could tell it was fairly early yet. She found herself wondering where Rin was. Perhaps she had earlier lessons today? Being by herself in this unfamiliar castle made her feel slightly uneasy and she hoped for the onlyfriendshe had here to be there with her. Her features sad, Kagome ran her fingertips along the edge of the table following every cut and chip that was made into the wood.

"Sesshomaru-sama."

The words pronounced by one of the servants immediately attracted Kagome's attention. She turned her head in the direction of the voice. Sesshomaru was conversing with one of the cooks before laying his cold eyes on her. To his surprise, she didn't turn away, but maintained her eyes on him, as if his presence meant nothing to her. After a few more seconds, neither of them had looked away. He began walking in her direction before taking his seat at the head of the table.

"Miko, you should not be out of bed," he said as if he was reprimanding a little child.

"I was hungry."

"Someone would have brought you food." Had she not realized by now that the castle was filled with servants who would bend themselves in two to pleasethe lady of the house.

Finally, Kagome was the one to look away from his amber eyes, a color she had not seen in a while.

"I feel fine," she said not looking at him.

It probably hardly mattered to her since she had been unconscious, but he had been the one prevented from gaining his freedom and control while she lay there sick. Sesshomaru would make sure that it would not occur again. By doing this, his beast might be fooled into thinking Sesshomaru had started to care about Kagome's well being. After all, the miko had been doing her part. It was time for him to start doing his, if he wanted her to finally leave.

She was not the most bothersome person. He could have thought about many more annoying females he could have been pinned with,buthe had no desire to have her in his life, nor as his mate. It was true that there was no guarantee what would happen to the mating once she left, but there was a positive point on their side; the bond was extremely weak. Obviously with both parties,usuallyagainst it, no proper connection had been formed between them. That meant it could also explain why she was still so sick. In normal circumstances being mated to him should have made her stronger. Perhaps since their mating wasn'tcomplete, it did not fully apply.

"When you are done eating, you will return to the chambers," he ordered. Sesshomaru had no desire to argue over such silliness, since he had better things to do. He didn't want her on her feet all day.

"I'll know when I'm tired" she said as she sighed, slightly annoyed.

"Miko, do not provoke this Sesshomaru," he warned, his tone ice cold.

Although he knew he could not harm the miko in any way, he would not stand for her to challenge his authority inhiscastle, in front ofhisservants. He had been more than kind and lenient with her and he expected some respect.

"You will lay down once you finish your meal, and you will not argue with this Sesshomaru."

Kagome bit her bottom lip before crisping her face and nodding acceptance. He would leave after this. Then she would be able to do what she pleased. No reason to anger him and provoke the beast to emerge. She had until tonight before she would have to face him again and she intended for it to remain that way.

As she had expected, Sesshomaru rose up to his feet before exiting the dining room, in his slow perfect manner, probably glad that he would be far from her once more. She watched him walk away. The further he was from her, the better she felt. Kagome was brought out of her thoughts when her plate was brought to her, and she nodded, thanking them.

The mere scent was enough to turn her stomach upside down, and for a second she was reconsidering her decision. Perhaps if she ate it slowly her stomach would accept it? She took a sip of the tea they had brought her with the food before trying a tiny bit of the fish. Kagome slowly chewed it before swallowing it, nearly expecting to throw up on the spot. But, everything seemed fine, so she kept on eating it, taking her time. In a few minutes the fish was gone, even though the nausea was still present, it did seem as if her food would settle, which pleased her. Two servants came her way nearly immediately. The first one took her plate away while the other one pulled her chair out ready to help her up. Apparently Sesshomaru had made sure she would get back to the room.

Kagome refused the hand offered to her and got up on her own. Walking in the direction of the room she could feel she was still being watched. They were making sure she didn't go anywhere else and it annoyed her. Granted she didn't have full freedom in this place, butat leastshe could usually go wherever she wanted inside the castle.

Apparently he enjoyed taking things away one at a time. Quickly enough she reachedtheirbedroom and nearly slid the door closed in the poor youkai servant face that had been following her master's orders to make sure their lady had returned to the bedroom. She would have usually felt bad, but at the moment her mood was extremely sour. She did not feel any regrets about it.

There was not much to do in the room and Kagome knew she would go crazy if she had to spend the whole day lying in bed. Kagome walked towards the window and leaned on the edge, looking out at the garden. With the current events she hadn't been outside much. She was wondering if a message from Sango was waiting for her. Kirara might have come, perhaps every day since that time, but in a way, Kagome felt it was maybe not better if they began to exchange messages regularly.

Sango might grow her hopes and try to free her. Kagome had no desire for it at the moment. After all she had a plan now and if it worked, nobody would be harmed in the process. Thinking about it, if her plan did succeed, she would more than likely never see her friends again. It would never be safe for her to come back or the beast would try to come and get her. If Kagome's friends were around they would be endangered. Perhaps the best decision would be to avoid communicating with her friend from now on, but. There was always 'a but'. Kagome dearly cared for Sango. She missed her more than she would allow herself to know.

Before she could stop herself Kagome felt tears coming to her eyes. She didn't try to stop them as they rolled down her cheeks. It had been a while since she had allowed herself to cry, and since she was not crying in the beast's presence due to his actions, she let herself empty her heart out. Kagome was crying for the loss of her friends she would experience soon if she escaped. Never would she be able to tell them how much they meant to her and how much she appreciated them. They had become exactly like her second family and she loved them.

Then she was thinking about Shippo. She had taken him as her own son when they found him, and now not only had he lost her, but probably Inuyasha too. Kagome imagined her friends weren't pleased with the hanyou and Shippo was probably disappointed the most by his actions.

Kagome leaned forward pressing her forehead against the cool window, the tears slowly stopping. Suddenly a loudboomcould be heard. It caused her to slightly jump back away from the window. Then, not hearing it again she gently opened the window to give her a betterlookoutside.She noticed the dark,nearlyblack clouds that were spreading across the blue sky that had been sunny a fewminutesago. She frowned at the clouds. How did the weather change so quickly? Not taking any chances, she closed the window in case it would start to rain.

Kagome backed away from the window, the back of her knees hitting the edge of the bed. Before letting herself fall, she glared at the door. She was expecting someone to be there,in caseshe tried to leave. It appeared Sesshomaru would do his best to keep her locked in the room. She wrapped her hands around her stomach and closed her eyes. Kagome didn't feel very tired but her eyelids were slightly heavy, perhaps she could try to nap.

***

Her mind was fuzzy.

Her head was throbbing.

Before Kagome could even get out of the bed she felt this nausea take over her body. She only had the time to turn her head and throw up on the ground beside the bed. As she was vomiting, she felt her throat burning. It brought tears to her eyes. Kagome desperately wanted to make it to a bucket, or anything, but it was impossible for her to move.

When the vomiting finally stopped, the only thing she could do was collapse back onto the bed with tears sliding down her cheek. Her chest was rising fast as she breathed in heavily, a bitter taste in her mouth. She wiped her mouth with her hand while praying it was over. Her head hung limply on the side of the bed as she tried to sit up on the edge.

When she finally did sit up she felt extremely dizzy. She held her head with both her hands. Kagome could hear a loud thumping, she felt as if it were her heart beating and resonating in her head. She suddenly realized it was coming from outside. Raising her head she could see the heavy rain hitting the window loudly. A tiny smile appeared on her face, she couldn't remember the last time it had rained in either of the worlds. She gathered her energy and walked towards the window having a strange desire to be out there standing in the rain. She glared at the door, knowing very well that if she crossed that doorway someone would be there to stop her.

Then an idea came to her mind, she opened the window as wide as she could before holding on to the edge. Kagome knew her balance wasn't great, but it was worth a try, so she slowly threw one leg over and then the other one. Holding on tightly when she felt she could reach with her feet, she let go and landed on the ground. Right away the rain was hitting the skin on her face, nearly hurting because of how heavy it was. Nonetheless, Kagome stood up fully before walking further from the window and looked around to see if there was anyone else there. Truthfully, she doubted the guards knew anything about her beingpunishedto her room, since she knew Sesshomaru didn't expect her to leave through the window.

Kagome's kimono began to feel extremely heavy, as the rain saturated the fabric, but she pushed that sensation aside from her thoughts as she walked further into the garden, feeling the wet grass under her bare feet. She was most likely completely crazy for doing this and would blame it on the fever later, but right now she needed to do this. Perhaps it was because the rain held a special meaning for her and it almost always meant happiness.

Before this time traveling well came along, maybe even before her father died, Kagome remembered the rainy days with her family. Sota and her had always been the first ones to go outside, even roll in the mud, but when it was raining, her mother would keep them inside. There were always many protests, so to distract us she would invent little games, or simply play board games to keep them busy.

Not only did it work, but also they always had the best time and the most laughs. At the end of the evening before it was time to go to bed, they would all sit together and if the rain was still heavy enough, they would watch it fall. When thunderstorms arrived, they would observe, as one flash of lightening would light up the whole room.

Kagome had never been afraid of thunder for that very specific reason. Her family was always there, why should she fear? Today was very different though, today she was not with any family. There was no tender family moments that would happen. There was nomomto hold her tight when the lighting would surprise her. Perhaps it was why sheneededto be out in the rain, because when they were with her, she couldn't. Now, she was alone and she wanted to feel the harshness of the water against her skin and dampening her hair.

Unknown to Kagome, Sesshomaru was outside in the rain, watching her. It hadn't been long before the beast had been able to smell the scent of her nausea and had rushed to the bedroom, only to find the room empty and the window wide open. Sesshomaru was supposed to be the one in control, even though the night had fallen, since Kagome was fine and the beast had been in control for so long. But when he had realized her sickness, he had once again taken over. Once he had seen the window opened he had caught a glimpse of her outside standing in the rain. His heart had nearly skipped a beat. Wondering if she was delirious because of a fever, Sesshomaru used his speed to rush outside, but stopped before she could notice he was there. He observed her as she stretched her arms out, her head raised to the clouds above, feeling the rain on her body and he couldn't move.

Her clothes were completely drenched. Making them fit to her form like a second skin, he couldn't help but follow every curve of her body with his eyes, nearly devouring her with one look. He growled deeply in his chest before walking in her direction, as if she were pulling him in. It was at that moment that Kagome heard footsteps coming toward her. She jumped slightly before turning around, and she found herself nearly face to face with the red eyes of Sesshomaru and backed away.

Her bangs were glued to her forehead, heavy from the rain and her plump lips were slightly parted, making her look ever so innocent. Kagome would have lookedpureif it weren't for the sight of her cold nipples pressing against the wet fabric of her kimono. It took Sesshomaru a few seconds before he lifted his glance and looked straight into her eyes. The want and lust was obvious in his eyes and Kagome was at loss of words, simply staring back at him.

The past few minutes she had been in her own little world, his presence had been unexpected, although it wasdarkout, she should have known the beast was the one in control. It didn't take her long to notice the look in his eyes and fear started to stir inside of her, especially when he took a step closer to her. Her body stiffened, uncomfortable with the close distance between them, and then Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around her, pressing her wet body against his heavily drenched clothing. His hair was pressed flat against his face. He could not take his eyes away from her pink lips.

To Kagome's surprise, he bent down and captured her lips into an intense passionate kiss. Although she had expressed what she desired, Sesshomaru had not been able to stop himself. She looked so vulnerable in the rain, and so desirable. His lust towards his little mate had taken over and pushed aside everything else. Kagome was not responding to his kiss and he simply assumed she had been shocked by his actions. He brought her body closer to his, desperately needing to feel her close to him, especially after he had been so worried these past three days. His hands were high on her body,justunder her breasts, as he gently licked her bottom lip,wantinga reaction from her.

Kagome's arms were still at her sides, not knowing what to do. He was kissing her, and sheknewhe would be expecting her to do something soon. Especially since he thought she enjoyed his company, but it killed her inside. Her tiny hands were shaking as she lifted her arms and rested them on his stomach, not knowing where else to put them. Sesshomaru gently growled against her lips, pleased that she was responding. Her heart heavy with suffering, Kagome slowly and carefully began to kiss him back, a bitter taste still very present in her mouth and it was not because of her previous sickness. Kagome's face was crisped as she shared her firstwillingkiss with Sesshomaru. For a second, the thought of her first kiss with Inuyasha came flowing back in her mind.

Although she harbored bad feelings towards Inuyasha, she did not towards her first kiss. It had been gentle and filled with love. She would never regret her actions since she had deeply loved him when it happened.Thiswas different and for different reasons. All Kagome felt towards Sesshomaru and his beast was hatred, no matter howsweethis beast tried to be. Kagome was a very forgiving person, but the acts that were committed were hard to forgiveandneither of them felt regret for what they had done, so how could sheeverfind it in her heart to forgive them? They thought their actions were righteous, and that she was wrong because things were done this way in this time period. She understood their thinking, but it didn't change the way she felt in her heart. Even if the beast had tried to do thisrelationshipthing her way he still felt it had been right to take her without her consent.

Sesshomaru could feel that she was distracted, he intended on bringing her attention back on him. He roughly grasped her breast, the wet fabric irritating her erected nipple. He roamed his hands over her delicate body making sure his caresses were slow, yet somewhat rough. He slid his hand between her legs, feeling the heat coming from there. He smirked when he noticed her eyes were closed and her focus was back on him. He decreased his touch, mostly remaining around her chest, before gently nibbling on her bottom lip as he pulled away. The sight in front of him was nearly too much to take; her lips red and swollen, her whole face completely wet, hair glued to her face, andthatlook in her eyes.

He rested his hands on her hips, making sure there was no distance between them.

"We're going inside."

Kagome nodded and he captured her hand in his before leading the way. Kagome's eyes seemed void of emotion as she turned her head, looking at the rain falling. A sigh escaped her lips as she realized, if you go in the rain,you'llget caught. Now, she only hoped he was taking her back to the room for her health, not because he had other things in mind. Obviously she hadn't wanted to kiss him, but she didn't really have much of a choice, and she prayed he did not get the wrong idea about all of this. She still intended on themtaking it slow, keeping his hands away from her body. But, what would she do if he didn't try to keep his hands to himself?

Quickly enough they reached the bedroom, Kagome's worries were growing. Her heart was beating in her chest like crazy and she was pretty sure he could hear it. He guided her inside and only released her hand when she was sitting on the bed. Inside it was easier to tell how wet they had both gotten; they were drenched. It was actually surprising to see Sesshomaru in such a state, since he was always so clean cut, not a hair placed the wrong way. This actually gave him a wilder feel about him, but she wasn't sure that was a good thing.

Sesshomaru could feel her eyes on him, he walked closer to her before doing the unexpected. He went down onto his knees. While she sat there watching him in such a submissive position, he wrapped his arms around her waist and undid her obi. Her kimono became looser and gently, he helped her arms out of it. She was going to be naked in front of him, which shouldn't bother her because he had seen her body many times, but it did.

Sesshomaru was on the ground looking up at her, as he slowly revealed her naked skin, for a second all he wanted was to bury himself deep inside of her. It was hard to remind himself to take it slow. He wanted to taste her skin so badly. The position he was in could be considered submissive, but he was this way because she had looked afraid. He didn't want her to feel as if he was trying to over power her especially while he was undressing her.

As soon as her breasts were bare she covered them with her arm, looking away from him. Immediately, he grabbed hold of her arm and pushed it away.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of."

If only he knew. Shame wasn't the reason she was doing this, she simply didn't want him seeing her naked if she could help it. Sesshomaru had gotten way more than an eye full in the past, but this time, she could and would prevent it. Although he didn't need to know that, so Kagome kept her mouth shut, he tore his eyes away from her and proceeded to completely undress her. His arms were tightly wrapped around her waist, as he gently lifted her up, pulling away the clothing. He pushed every other little piece aside before he held a completely naked Kagome in his arms.

She did not have any more clothing in his room, which was clearly a bother, and he would need for the servants to transport everything she had into their room, to make things easier. Although in his mind she shouldn't be dressed, to help keep her fever down. Even if her temperature was normal for now, he knew better than to be fooled, and he wanted her to remain naked. He pressed his face against the top of her breasts, as his worry for her grew. Such a fragile, delicate, pregnant mate he had.

A little saddened, he pulled away from her, so he could undress himself as well. As soon as Kagome realized what he was doing, she looked away. He might want to see her naked, but she had no desire to look at his body. It wasn't because he was ugly, but because of all the bad memories associated with his nakedness. All she could see from her angle were the magenta stripes starting at his hips, and going down lower, but his clothes covered the ends, not that she didn't know where they stopped. While he was busy, she took a hold of the blanket slightly covering her body, at least the important parts.

"Are you repulsed?"

Kagome slightly jumped, since she had not expected him to talk, quickly her eyes searched for his. Was she repulsed? Did he mean by his body? From the look of hurt in his eyes, she assumed she had guessed right. The obvious answer wasyes, but only because of everything you've done to me,butshe couldn't exactly say that, so she shook her head no unable to let that word escape her lips. He looked at her thou not seeming to be convinced. Nonetheless, he finished undressing himself. Kagome bit her bottom lip, her nervousness growing. She could already tell what would happen now, especially if he felt insecure. For a second it sounded wrong to associate Sesshomaru and insecurity.

Once he was completely naked, he walked towards her once more, but this time, he sat on the bed beside her, looking somewhat confident. He stretched his hand, cupping her cheek so he could turn her face, causing her to face him. Apparently therain episodehad been very bad, because ever since then, he had been way too close for comfort. Sesshomaru leaned his face closer to hers, before laying down kisses along her jaw line. She was so tense all the time and he wanted her to fully relax in his company, hence why he was trying to put her at ease. He nuzzled his nose against her soft skin, before licking her neck, a low growl coming from deep inside.

"Are you repelled by this Sesshomaru's body?"

Kagome frowned slightly, this had to be the very first time the beast referred to himself in the third person, since that was usually Sesshomaru's way of speaking. She wondered for an instant, if it hadn't been the real Sesshomaru, but the voice had been the same. Kagome looked into his eyes, but he hadn't seemed to notice.

"Are you?" he asked, a little more demanding when she didn't answer.

Once again, she shook her head as an answer, but this time it didn't seem as if it would be good enough.

"Say it."

Perhaps it was for his pride and self-esteem only, but he needed her to say these words out loud. Although she seemed more comfortable and more willing around him, he didn't fail to notice how she was not aroused by any sexual contact, even though he had brought her to climax many times in the past. It nearly left him to wonder what the only possibility left was, that she did not enjoy his body.

"I'm not," she said, her voice almost a whisper.

Sesshomaru licked his lips before crashing them on hers once more. Kagome gasped under the contact, but fortunately for her, he pulled away before she was forced to respond. His whole body was on fire, and she was the only one who would be able to help him with his current problem. His erection was throbbing, as he was nearly in pain from the desire he felt for her, especially considering the fact that she was willing, vulnerable, and naked at the moment.

"Lay down," he ordered.

Kagome glued her lips together before doing as he said, covering her whole body with a thin blanket. She had expected him to join her, but to her surprise, he wrapped something around his waist, before opening the door. She could hear him talk, but could not make out his words. Quickly enough, he came back, holding a bucket in his hands, and she knew what it was for. Sesshomaru put it beside her on the floor next to the bed, not risking her to be sick all over the floor again. To her surprise her previous accident was long gone, and the stench was probably gone to, or it would have been irritating his nose.

He didn't lie down beside her, but instead sat down, pondering. He had heard the slip up earlier and heknewshe had too, since she had reacted too. It did not bother him, but this new development might be a problem for Sesshomaru. It was already slowly starting and the time was counting down from now on. Sesshomaru turned his head in the direction of his mate feeling her eyes on him. He had no intention of keeping anything from her, so he would answer her question.

"Ask."

Kagome slightly sat up in the bed, the blanket tightly wrapped around her body. "Why did you refer to yourself in the third person?"

He wasn't sure yet how she would take the news, but it was time to find out.

"We are merging." When he noticed the confusion in her eyes, he explained further. "A beast and a youkai shouldn't be in conflict. Unless it is resolved, we will either merge, or he will disappear."

Although Kagome didn't like Sesshomaru, at least he had absolutely no interest in her and he wanted her to leave just as much as she wanted to go. If he were to disappear, she'd be stuck with the beast with no way out.

"Which one is it?" she asked, her lip slightly trembling.

"It appears we are merging."

She wanted to be relieved, but she had no idea what merging would do, causing her to become very stressed. Sesshomaru seemed to notice it, and he made an attempt at re-assuring her.

"No matter what happens, you are our mate, in both cases, we will want you."

Kagome held in her breath, his words processing through. If she let this happen, there would be no way out for her and that would be it. Forever stuck with the beast or at least something akin to the beast, she would never taste freedom again. It was one thing to pretend so she could escape, but she would not spend the rest of her life pretending she enjoyed his actions. She felt him wrap his arms around her, moving her head so it was lying on his chest. He was trying to comfort her perhaps, but it was not what she needed. Apparently, she was running out of time, and soon enough, it would be too late.

Things needed to move forward faster, and right now, she didn't care how. She would not lose her only chance to run away.

***