Patience: Confusion

Patience
By Pixelgoddess

Summary – Vegeta has had his eye on Goku for years, but isn’t willing to make the first move. Will either of them bend?
This started out life as a series of one-shots, with required sentences – first ‘Why did you stop?’, then ‘I’ve been waiting a long time for this’ and ‘You wouldn’t dare.’ Now look what has happened – it’s taken on a life of its own.
Pairings – oh please – I almost never write anything but Goku and Vegeta. What do you think?
Warnings – This is me you are talking about – expect smut and angst, pretty much in equal measure. With enough sap to thin it out. Goku/Vegeta. Sex. Kissing. Smut. Yaoi. (Does everyone know what that means?) And now that the cat is out of the bag – mpreg.
A disclaimer too? *sighs* Would I worry about paying my bills if I owned them? Hell, if I owned them, there would have been more naked Saiyans, more sex, Goku would have saved Vegeta, and the prince would have been the one to pound the lizard to a pulp.

Chapter 6 - Confusion

Goku floated in the clouds, enjoying the feel of their moisture against his skin. He and Vegeta had finished training – if you could call it that – just minutes ago and he had decided to fly off his frustration.

He was only two months into what he had learned with shock would be a twelve month pregnancy, and he was already struggling with the changes to his body and ki. Saiyan babies were born more developed than human, but twelve months? It hardly seemed fair. Dende had warned him that in many ways the first quarter would be the worst as his body adapted to carry a baby, but for some reason he had never expected it to be as difficult as this. He had accepted there would be good days and bad days, but there had been more bad days lately, and today had been one of the worst so far.

Vegeta was still willing to spar with him, although at a much tamer level than what they were used to. Goku hadn’t minded too much – they were doing it to protect their baby, after all. Besides, under their self-imposed rules they were evenly matched.

Today though – today all of his efforts were futile. His ki fluctuated unpredictably, making it difficult to concentrate. At least he hadn’t passed out again – that one time had been more than enough.

Vegeta hadn’t gotten angry with him when Goku’s ki spiked without warning, the resulting blow sending the prince slamming against a mountain, but Goku had been horrified at his lack of control; he could have killed his prince. Vegeta had become upset, though, when Goku’s ki slipped, leaving him vulnerable; the prince had nearly hurt himself pulling his punch at the last moment.

Vegeta had immediately declared an end to their training for the day, telling him he had to be more careful now, completely ignoring Goku’s insistence that, given time, he could get this under control. The prince had only glared and commanded him to stop, not even retaliating, when Goku swung at him, trying to force Vegeta to continue their spar.

Goku sighed and rolled on his back, watching the way the sunlight filtered through the clouds, sending rainbows of light scattering through the mist. The baby was at it again, making his ki…flutter…even while Goku tried to figure out how to feed the energy to his child at a more even pace.

He shouldn’t have gotten so mad at Vegeta, but he hated the realization that the longer this pregnancy progressed, the more he would have to give up. Sometimes he just wanted to scream how unfair this all was. He had hardly had a chance to be with Vegeta as a lover or…something – and now they were going to be parents. It was too soon – he wasn’t ready. There were moments when he didn’t think they ever could be. He tried to remember if felt they were when Chichi was pregnant with Gohan…probably, but maybe it was just because they were too young to know any better.

He just wished he knew how Vegeta really felt about him and the baby. Sometimes Goku was sure he cared – loved him even, but other times…? He just couldn’t seem to shake that lingering doubt; Vegeta had always been something of a mystery to him.

It was weird - there were times lately when the prince would look and act as if he knew exactly what was going on in Goku’s head, but he never seemed to be able to do the same. It was too bad really, that his empathy had never worked completely with Vegeta – and now it didn’t seem to work at all. He treasured the glimpses he had gotten of his prince’s mind, but they only left him hungry for more.

It was so frustrating – before, Goku could see into nearly everyone he met with little effort, but the one person he wanted to know was hidden from him – and now, when he thought they should be closer than ever, he couldn’t be sure how the prince felt about him.

The logical part of him understood a lot of his recent uncertainty was because he was pregnant – somewhere in the middle of the hormonal and physical changes his body was experiencing he seemed to have lost much of his ability to read people’s emotions. Dende had promised he would settle down by the third or fourth month, but until then, Goku felt blind. He had never realized how much he depended on this skill before, and now that he was in such turmoil, he couldn’t trust himself any more.

Like…did Vegeta really want to stay with him? Sure, he had been as good as his word – more attentive than Goku had believed possible, staying with him and even reassuring him as the future details of this pregnancy were explained by Dende. But still, Goku sometimes wondered if the prince stayed with him out of a sense of guilt. Vegeta said he wanted to be there, and the sex - he could only think of it as making love because the hidden romantic in Goku didn’t want to believe it was just fucking – was everything he could ever want – caring, affectionate, playful, and passionate. But the rest of the time Vegeta kept so much to himself it was hard to tell. He didn’t even understand why he was questioning this – it wasn’t like Vegeta had done anything to make him doubt him.

Goku frowned as the baby pulled some more ki. It always got worse when he got excited or upset; just when he should have complete control over his ki was when it slipped out of his grasp. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself; this high up, it wasn’t a good idea to let that happen.

He tried to tell himself to go by Vegeta’s actions, and not to worry about words, but since the prince had moved in, they hadn’t spoken about it again. Their conversations had changed some – Vegeta actually told him some things about Vegeta-sei, including more about the roles of tasans, but never anything about whatever their relationship was now.

Even when he explained about some of the different pairings, like bonding, mating, or packs, he didn’t know which one applied – or if any did – apparently with Saiyans there were so many possibilities. They were only the two, so it didn’t make sense they were a pack, and he couldn’t think of anyone else Vegeta would consider for anything long term. Goku didn’t think he’d like bonding the way Vegeta described it.; claiming sounded too much like ownership. It didn’t help matters any that Vegeta sometimes acted very possessive, making him worried that was how the prince felt about him. Goku wanted to be with him, not be his property. He liked the sound of mating, but that was not likely to happen; he couldn’t see Vegeta ever voluntarily lowering his barriers that much, letting anyone touch his mind enough to feel emotions. Still, it didn’t stop Goku from imagining what it would be like to be close enough to someone to know how they felt – to know they loved you without all of those confusing words that never really said it right. It didn’t sound like Saiyans had anything like marriage, so what was left?

Goku tried to ask, but Vegeta looked at him as if he was stupid for not knowing the answer already. He could never make himself continue once those questioning dark eyes were on him; he had never been good about actually talking about how he felt. Sure, he could with Piccolo to an extent, but that was different – maybe because he could feel him and knew how his friend felt about him. Even with Chichi it had been easier – he knew she loved him, no matter how much and how often he screwed up. And he could talk to her if she started the conversation, but without that guidance…? He just knew he would blurt out the wrong thing to Vegeta and make him leave. Besides, he was positive the prince didn’t like to talk about ‘feelings’.

Goku growled with frustration – two months later and he still didn’t know where he stood with Vegeta. He didn’t think he had lied on purpose, but maybe he did need to hear it at least once. He was positive the prince would stay with him until the baby was born, but then what? Would they stay together? Would he end up having to raise the baby alone? Or worse yet, would Vegeta try to take it from him?

Goku groaned and tried ineffectively to hold on to his ki as the baby felt his stress and drew on it in reaction. He fell.

-----------------------------

“Damn it, Kakarott! I told you to be more careful!” Vegeta shouted, fists clenched, practically shaking with rage.

“I was careful! It’s not my fault if--“ Goku shouted back, trying to hide his shivering reaction from the furious prince.

“It is your fault! I told you to stop for the day. You should have listened to me! It isn’t like this is the first time this has happened!”

“This wasn’t the same thing. I didn’t pass out this time! And that was months ago!”

“That’s enough…” Vegeta growled.

“What am I supposed to do?” he interrupted. It wasn’t fair of Vegeta to get mad at him for this; it wasn’t his fault it had happened. “Sit at home all day?”

“You shouldn’t be doing something so dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” he asked in disbelief. Flying was one of the joys in his life – Vegeta had no right to try to take that from him. “We do it every day!”

“Until your body settles down, I don’t want you to risk it.”

Goku growled at the order. “Just because we fuck, doesn’t mean you own me, Vegeta,” he said bitterly, raising his fingers to his forehead. He felt that creeping concern again that Vegeta was trying to treat him like a possession. He couldn’t accept that; no matter how much he loved the prince,

“Oh no you don’t. This isn’t just about you,” Vegeta snapped, grabbing hold of his arm just as Goku IT’d to Piccolo’s location.

He glared and shoved the prince away. “What in the hell did you do that for?”

“You have to stop running away, Kakarott. I’m not-” Vegeta said.

“I’m not your property – you haven’t claimed me and I won’t let you!”

“How can you think that? I don’t—” Vegeta began, but Goku didn’t want to hear anything he said.

“You don’t own me and you don’t get to tell me what to do!” Goku shouted in frustration, ignoring his interruption. Why couldn’t Vegeta just have shown some concern when he caught him? If he had, this fight would never have happened.

“That’s my child you’re carrying!”

“Our child,” he corrected. He was beginning to fear he was right – Vegeta didn’t want him, just the baby. “I’m pregnant Vegeta, not helpless. I don’t need you to baby sit me.”

“I’m trying to protect you!”

“Did you ever think I didn’t need your protection?”

“Bullshit. In your condition--”

“It’s your fault I’m in this condition!” Goku yelled, wishing he could take the words back as soon as he said them. He swore he could see Vegeta visibly deflate.

“You shouldn’t be alone,” Vegeta said in a quieter voice.

Goku scowled and flung his arm at Piccolo. “Do I look alone?”

“Kakarott…”

“Go home, Vegeta. I want to talk to my friend,” Goku said stubbornly. Couldn’t the prince see he just needed some time to think – to calm down enough for his ki to return to normal?

Vegeta breathed out his aggravation, “Fine. Maybe you will pay attention to your friend since you refuse to listen to your m-- me.” He turned to Piccolo, “Don’t let him fly home alone.”

“Fuck you, Vegeta,” Goku grumbled under his breath. “Damn it!” he shouted, dropping to the ground as the prince flew away.

“What in the hell was that all about?” Piccolo demanded, staring down at him, “I’ve never seen you two argue like that before.”

“I think he thinks he owns me or something. I told him I’m pregnant, not helpless, but he won’t listen!”

“Son…much as I hate to stick up for that jerk, did you ever think maybe he is just worried about you? We all are – you’re finding this more difficult than Dende expected.”

“He doesn’t have to be! I can take care of myself. I was going to IT – I didn’t need him to catch me,” he protested.

“Catch?”

Goku snapped his mouth shut and hung his head in embarrassment – he hadn’t meant to tell Piccolo, had he? Maybe he was stupid and helpless after all.

“Son…what happened?”

“I fell,” he whispered. He could feel his friend’s eyes on him, but Piccolo didn’t say a word. “I was flying and I fell – my ki dropped and I couldn’t stay up.” He looked up to see if Piccolo blamed him like Vegeta did; it bothered him that he couldn’t tell how his friend felt. “But I was going to save myself,” he said defensively, trying to ignore the little voice that reminded him how frightened he had been when he realized he couldn’t sense any kis as he plummeted to the ground and how relieved he had been when Vegeta had saved him. “I was going to IT.”

“Without ki?” Piccolo asked skeptically. “Even Vegeta knows you can’t do that. Damn it, no wonder he’s upset. You and the baby could have died!”

“Don’t you think I know that?!” Goku shouted. “I hate this! I hate being so helpless! And it’s just going to get worse – I know it. I’m going to get bigger and bigger and weaker and weaker until I’m nothing but a useless pregnant alien medical freak of nature! It’s not funny!” he protested at the little flicker of amusement that crossed his friend’s face.

“No it’s not,” Piccolo apologized. “I just never expected to hear a line like that from you.”

“I hate this,” he repeated. “Why is this happening to me?” he said, bending over, arms wrapped around his middle as the baby responded to his frustration, sucking his strength away again; at least he was on the ground this time.

“Goku?” Piccolo asked, stooping down beside him, “Are you all right?”

“No I’m not alright!” he ground out, trying in vain to get control. “I’m a man, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t have any control over my body anymore. I hate this! My ki is all over the damn map and I don’t know what to do to make it stop. No wonder Vegeta is mad at me.”

“Is he?” Piccolo put a hand on his shoulder, “Goku…did you ever stop to think you might have scared him? If I had been there I would have been terrified I couldn’t catch you in time.”

“Did he ever stop to think maybe I was scared? No. I’m supposed to be so damn brave all the time. Well I’m not! Why couldn’t he have just held me or even asked if I was okay? He just started yelling at me – blaming me for something that wasn’t my fault. And now you’re taking his side!”

“You know that isn’t true. You know how I feel,” Piccolo said, sitting down beside him.

Goku closed his eyes and hung his head, “I don’t know anything anymore. Everything’s changed. I can’t read anyone – not even you. It’s almost like being blind.” He rested his forehead on his bent knees, trying to will his ki back under his control. “I’m scared Piccolo – I’m really, really scared.”

“I’ll do anything I can to help you,” Piccolo said, resting a large hand gently on his back.

“I don’t think there is anything anyone can do for me,” he said miserably. “Dende said I’d have to wait while my body adjusts; I just didn’t think it would be so hard.” He felt his ki start to level out as he calmed down. “Most of the time it isn’t too bad, but I hate being so completely out of control. It doesn’t feel like my body anymore. I never know what’s going to happen – I sent Vegeta through a mountain without meaning to.”

Piccolo chuckled, “Wish I had seen that.”

“Piccolo,” he chided, “That’s not nice.” He sighed and lay back on the grass, “I don’t think anyone realizes how hard it is to keep my ki under control even under normal conditions. And now? Sometimes I have nightmares of blowing up the entire planet just because the baby kicked.”

“That won’t happen.”

He sat back up again and shrugged in frustration – he felt like he was repeating himself over and over without making anyone understand just how confused he felt about everything. “I think I’m doing good – have it all under control – and then I have a day like this. I just… I just wish I knew how Vegeta really felt about me. I love him so much and not knowing just makes it harder. I never realized loving someone could be so difficult.”

-------------------------------

Vegeta flew back to where Kakarott and the Namek were, trying to figure out how to broach the subject of today’s near disaster. He hadn’t meant to get so angry, but it had been like seeing one of his worst nightmares come true.

His slowly developing ability to read Kakarott’s emotions was sporadic and unpredictable, and for now totally out of his control. Even so, he had felt the younger Saiyan’s complete frustration with the day’s training. Vegeta realized Kakarott was struggling daily with the changes he was experiencing, but knew nothing that would make things any easier; it would just take patience while his body continued to adapt in order to carry the baby.

He tried to be alert to the changes in Kakarott’s ki, supplying him with energy whenever his waned, but there were times when the younger Saiyan’s independent nature bled through and he rejected any aid.

He normally admired and even encouraged that independent streak, but not now. Not when that independence endangered his life and that of their child.

And it was made even more difficult by Kakarott’s tendency to evade and even run from difficult personal issues. Vegeta was worried if he wasn’t careful Kakarott would vanish someday rather than stay around and work out an admittedly difficult relationship.

He just wished this first quarter was over – supposedly the next two quarters were supposed to be relatively easy. The tasan’s body would finish changing to carry the infant and would stabilize while the child grew and developed. He almost grinned as he tried to picture Kakarott’s firm stomach muscles softened and hidden as he grew larger, but somehow he couldn’t see it.

He had been surprised when Kakarott had uncharacteristically thrown a punch at him outside of a spar, trying to continue their training past his already exceeded limits. It was so unlike him Vegeta had been momentarily stunned, but refused to rise to the bait. He was supposed to be protecting Kakarott, not causing him more pain. Even though he was angry and upset over too many things for Vegeta to begin to identify, Kakarott seemed to have control over his ki as he flew straight up into the clouds. Vegeta would have liked to have joined him flying through the mist, but somehow he knew Kakarott needed to have some time alone; he couldn’t begin to understand the turmoil he felt coming from the younger Saiyan.

After a few minutes he regretted that decision as he felt Kakarott’s ki spiral downwards seconds before he began plummeting to the ground, out of control. Vegeta felt himself reliving one of his latest nightmares, this time with Kakarott and their child as the all-too-real victims. He couldn’t tell whose terror was greater – his own or Kakarott’s, but it fed his transformation to level 2 as he raced to intercept before the nearly limp form hit the ground.

He was sorry now he had gotten so mad, but damn it, Kakarott was empathic and should have understood his fear and his usual way of reacting – anger was normal for him under those circumstances. Hadn’t he caused enough destruction in the past to prove that point? Still…he had worked so hard to get control over his violent impulses, saving them until they were to his advantage. Maybe he should begin working at controlling this reaction as well?

He hadn’t realized just how upset he had made the other until Kakarott had gotten angry, accusing Vegeta of trying to claim him and blaming him for the pregnancy. That had stopped Vegeta cold with the realization of much of a chasm still existed between them. How was it that Kakarott still didn’t understand what he meant to Vegeta? If he continued to resist his aid, how was Vegeta supposed to protect him? This was the most difficult part of the pregnancy, and apparently he was making it even more difficult for Kakarott. If they had been together longer before it happened they would have been more in tune with each other, and maybe he wouldn’t be making all of these mistakes. It was too late for that now – he was glad Kakarott chose to go through with the pregnancy; he just wished it had been later.

He couldn’t shake the feeling Kakarott wasn’t getting everything he needed from him – but he wasn’t very good at interpreting emotions or analyzing their cause. There was an ever-present chant in the back of his head, getting more and more difficult to ignore – ‘You’re going to fuck up and he’s going to leave you.’ The thought had lead to many restless nights, staring at Kakarott’s peaceful sleeping face, trying to imagine his life without him. He couldn’t do it – he’d barely survived the loss of Bulma; losing Kakarott would destroy him.

Vegeta finally arrived at the waterfall, glad of the distraction to his questioning. Kakarott was stretched out on the grass, covered in Piccolo’s cape, the Namek sitting and meditating near his head. Vegeta growled in annoyance as he realized the Namek wasn’t meditating; he was stroking Kakarott’s soft dark hair. Piccolo had no right! How many times had Vegeta done the same thing, lightly fingering the black spikes, enjoying the soft purrs the other Saiyan made? And worse yet, it looked like this was a normal thing – Piccolo looking down at the sleeping face, making the closest thing to a smile he was capable of. He landed and stared at the Namek, finally seeing what he must have known all along.

“You love him,” Vegeta blurted, that voice of doubt suddenly screaming at him. Was this why Kakarott seemed so confused all of the time?

“Yes,” Piccolo said, staring calmly back. “Do you?” he challenged.

“We’re Saiyans,” he snapped. “We don’t-“

“Enough of the fucking semantics, Vegeta,” the Namek growled, rising to his feet, “It’s not a difficult question. Do. You. Love. Him?”

Vegeta scowled. Stupid fucking language. They understood nothing. “Kakarott is Saiyan – he understands.”

“You are so damn blind. He might have Saiyan blood, but he was raised human. No matter how much you want it to be different; it isn’t fair of you to demand he change to suit you. You have to meet him half way if you plan on keeping him.”

He glared at the Namek; it was none of his damn business how much he had changed for Kakarott, “We’re leaving now.”

“No you’re not,” Piccolo said, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from Kakarott.

“Are you planning to die, then?” he said angrily.

“Knock it the fuck off. He’s had a rough day, and meditating exhausted him. You’re going to let Goku sleep and we’re going to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you, Namek.”

“Fine. You’re going to lose him and you won’t even know why.”

“To you?” he laughed bitterly. “You can’t even have sex.”

“I have hands and a mouth.”

Vegeta couldn’t take it anymore – the thought this…Namek would touch what was his. He punched him, sending him crashing back against a nearby tree.

“What’s the matter, Shorty?” Piccolo sneered as Vegeta curled his hand in the purple gi, drawing back for another blow. “Can’t take the truth? There’s more to a relationship than just sex.”

“He’s mine! You will not touch him!”

“Yours? I don’t think so. You’re just using him–”

“That’s not true!” He should just punch the damn Namek, killing him, silencing that disgusting mouth.

“-keeping him around until you get an heir,” Piccolo continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Then what, Vegeta?”

“You don’t understand anything,” he growled, struggling to remind himself how upset Kakarott would be if he killed his friend. “I wouldn’t do that to Kakarott.”

“Haven’t you already?”

Vegeta punched him in the gut, pleased at the grunt of pain the lying bastard made. “He can feel me – he knows what he is to me.”

“You’re wrong,” Piccolo gasped, trying to catch his breath.

“What?” Vegeta hesitated – that wasn’t the answer he expected.

“He has no idea how you feel. You fuck him, you get him pregnant, you treat him like a helpless child, and when he needs you the most you get angry and push him away.” Piccolo shoved with his ki and Vegeta took a step back, looking at the angry, bleeding Namek with distrust. “You know what, Vegeta? I hope you continue just the way you have been. You’re going to fuck up once too often, and I’ll be waiting. Goku knows I love him.”

Vegeta roared in rage and punched the Namek again, feeling the crush of bones under his fist. “He’s MINE! I’ve waited for Kakarott for years and I won’t let you take him from me!” His next blow snapped Piccolo’s head to the side, blood flying from his mouth. “He’s in my head – I can feel him already! I’m supposed to protect him! He’s my mate!”

“Don’t tell me,” Piccolo wheezed, “Tell him.”

“Vegeta?”

Vegeta practically spun around at the softly voiced question. Kakarott was awake and staring at him in sleepy confusion.

“You owe me, Vegeta,” Piccolo whispered. “I know you – until you got too pissed off to think you’d never say anything.”

What the hell? Vegeta looked back at the Namek in disbelief. “I could have killed you.”

“But you didn’t, did you?…because of him.”

“Why?” he asked, not sure he understood what had just happened.

“For some stupid reason Goku loves you and I want him to be happy.”

He stared at Piccolo in shock. Was he understanding this right? The Namek had risked his life to keep Vegeta and Kakarott together?

“Vegeta?” Kakarott asked again. “Why are you and Piccolo fighting?”

“It’s alright Son,” Piccolo said, pushing himself standing, “Just a misunderstanding. I’m going to see Dende. And…” he gave the prince a warning look, “Vegeta has some things to tell you.”

He waited until the Namek left before, “Kakarott…”

“What’s going on Vegeta?” his mate asked, his voice softer than usual, not rising from the pool of white cloth surrounding him.

Vegeta sighed; had the Namek really pushed him into this on purpose? “Did you know he…’loves’ you?”

Kakarott shrugged, “Well- yeah. I’ve known that for a long time. It isn’t a secret. I would have told you if you asked.” He frowned, “Is that why you hit him? Because Piccolo loves me? “

Vegeta was almost embarrassed to admit how unsure he felt with Kakarott – mates were supposed to know these things. He just didn’t know it would take so long. The stories always said it was an instant thing – he should have known better, “He said he was going to take you away from me.”

Kakarott crossed his arms and studied Vegeta dubiously. “I’m not some possession to be stolen, Vegeta.”

“I know,” he said softly. “It’s just that…”

“I love you, Vegeta. No matter what, I love you. Piccolo knows that – we’ve talked about it; he knows I don’t love him the same way,” Kakarott said before hesitating. He appeared to take a breath before blurting out, “But what about you? We haven’t talked about it for months and I’m no closer to knowing where we stand than I did then. I still don’t have any idea how you really feel about me.”

Vegeta stared at him in surprise – with Kakarott’s abilities he should have known weeks ago. “That’s not true – we talked about mating. I thought you understood. You should have known when I did.”

“Known what?” Kakarott asked, looking up at him with questioning eyes. Vegeta wasn’t sure if that was hope or confusion he was sensing – all these emotions were too difficult to interpret without understanding the cause.

“You have to know,” Vegeta said, bewildered, dropping to his knees in front of Kakarott. “I started to be able to feel your emotions a few weeks ago. It’s how I knew we were becoming mates.”

“Oh,” Kakarott said, suddenly looking down, fingers tight in the white fabric. “I can’t,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You can’t what?” he asked, not understanding his answer, wanting to pry the Namek’s cape away, but controlling his jealousy. “You can’t feel me?” This was impossible. He couldn’t be alone in this.

“I haven’t felt anyone for almost a month,” Kakarott said sadly.

“No one - not even me?” He had been so pleased to realize he was becoming more aware of Kakarott, but it was somehow disappointing to discover the awareness did not go both ways.

Kakarott shook his head. “No,” he whispered, “I’ve been so alone.”

He could feel it now – Kakarott’s loneliness was nearly overwhelming. Hopefully, in a few months they would be close enough for him to be aware of such an intense emotion from his mate without it being pointed out to him.

“Because of the baby?” he asked gently.

“I don’t know…I hope so.” Kakarott curled his legs up into a protective ball, “I don’t know what I’ll do if it is permanent. I could feel you a little bit and then everything just faded and was gone.”

Vegeta sighed – the Namek was right, he was fucking everything up. Why didn’t he pay more attention? Now that he had experienced even a taste of what Kakarott could feel, he thought he could understand how lost his mate would feel without that ability. “I’m sorry Kakarott. This is too new – I didn’t have any idea. You should-- I wish you had told me.”

Kakarott suddenly moved forward and embraced him in a nearly bone-crushing hug. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled against Vegeta’s neck.

“You’ve done nothing to be sorry for, Kakarott,” he said gently, wrapping his arms around Kakarott, breathing in his scent, heart beating in time to the dual pulse of ki from his mate and child. “I thought you knew we were becoming mates. I should have said something.”

“Are we really?” Kakarott said hopefully. “You’re not just saying it because I’m pregnant? I’m not…claimed?”

Vegeta chuckled softly, Was Kakarott really worried about that? He was so strong – no one could ever own him. “A warrior like you? You will never be property.”

“Mates,” Kakarott said, tasting the word, sitting up enough to see Vegeta’s face.

“Yes,” Vegeta smiled, feeling some of the tension vanish from Kakarott. “Pregnant or not, I choose to be with you.” Maybe now he would understand he meant more to Vegeta than any human word could ever express. “We are mates.”