new magic afoot: a kid with mixed thoughts

Published Mar 11, 2022, 11:12:39 AM UTC | Last updated Mar 11, 2022, 11:12:39 AM | Total Chapters 1

Story Summary

polly helping their sister with there new magic

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Chapter 1: a kid with mixed thoughts

“You don’t think I'm evil do you?” polly mumbled soft with their head turned down, the fast wind of their sisters new magic still rushing around


 “polly why woul-” she trails of grabbing her sibling hand when she does, 

“of courses not your one of the kindest people i know dont let anything mom says about your magic change your mind on that'' 


squeezing her hand a final time she let go, and turns back to trying to control her new found power. Polly appreciated their sisters kind worlds but it doesn't dwindle the aching feeling in their chest, sitting here now watching their sister with her magic felt like a punch to the gut, even when its out of control its still so beautiful and helpful, and the memory of almost burning down the house when there magic came in edged to the surface.


_____


When it was finally time to go to bed Delilah had managed to calm her powers to a soft breeze and quickly passed out on their part of the bunk bed. 

Unfortunately for Polly the troubles from earlier in the day had not yet left them, and as a result they were stuck lying awake, sometimes they wished they could have any other element so that they could be like the other kids and be excited about their magic.

 when the first sparks of there magic came through they were so overjoyed and they happily went to there best friends dandy an spoon to tell them, they were one of the last people in there class to get magic but dandy and spoon weren't mean about it and even got matching charm bracelets with polly to celebrate, polly's mom did not share the same joy they did when they told her after getting home, and was even less pleased when there magic started fully setting in that night,


They halt there thought process as best they can at this, and try to hide away the memory they didn't like these parts of the memory it was much simpler when it was just there magic being bad and nothing else, after all how could there mom be bad for being upset it surely wasn't her fault, she was just sad that Polly had bad magic like dad, but dandy and spoon were mad when they told them what their mom did the next day, and they definitely weren't bad so polly didn't like this memory because it was hard to understand,

 After many tedious hours of dwelling in their thoughts they were finally able to fall asleep for the night, in the morning they would help Delilah with their magic and everything would be alright.


____

“Hey polly you're up later than usual my magic didn't stop you from sleeping too much did it?” Delilah asked well, attempting to balance their plate of breakfast with their magic.


“No delilah your magic was fine dont worry i was just extra tired last night” they lied as they sat down at the breakfast bar next to delilah, after a pause they ask “i was wondering if you would like me to teach you some spells, i don't know how to do a lot since i have the bad element, but i have a book on air i could help you with?”


Delilah frowned at their ‘bad element’ comment but they accepted the invite nonetheless, hoping this would get Polly's mind off of their own magic and onto something more constructive.

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Comments

  • May 16, 2022, 3:14:10 AM UTC
    I like the story, but I feel like the lack of proper capitalization, commas in incorrect places, and misuse of their/they're/there hold it back.
    The usage of an unreliable narrator is nice.
  • Mar 23, 2022, 6:49:40 PM UTC
    Be careful about capitalisation, sentences should start with capital letters and names usually do but if not it should be consistent (is the character called Polly or polly?)

    I'd like to critique the story but don't think I can experience the emotions you're trying to evoke and am not sure that's the fault of the story.