Healing Soul: Beginning

InuYasha turned away as Sango and Kagome exited the hut. He closed his fire, red eyes and leaned his head against the wall. InuYasha could feel the wind blow and the loud sound of Kagome as she left this time and into her era.

 

"Kagome…" InuYasha whispered, he wanted the tears to come, but they remained as dry as a desert, nothing was coming, would he ever be the same?

 

---

 

Miroku pulled some wood into the center of the village and let out a long sigh. InuYasha was sitting by Kikyo's grave, his large shape extremely hard to miss.

 

"Houshi…are you okay?" Miroku turned to see Sango as she moved some fish she had caught and put on the ground.

 

"I am…I don't know about..." Miroku stopped and stared at his hanyou friend. Shippo bounded into the clearing and took a fish from Sango's basket.

 

"I know houshi." Sango came up and gave him a hug. Miroku leaned and kissed her neck, feeling the warmth of her body.

 

"Sango…" Miroku removed himself from her embrace, "I have to go talk to him, he needs as many friends as he can get right now."

 

"I know." Sango looked down. "Shippo can you help me carry this to Keade?"

 

"Sure Sango." Shippo looked down, and then looked up at InuYasha and sighed. He scrambled after Sango as the headed to Keade's hut.

 

Miroku sighed and pulled his staff on his shoulder and headed up the steps that led to Kikyo's grave. InuYasha didn't make any movements to show he noticed him, but Miroku knew InuYasha knew he was there. He slowly sat on the ground and crossed his legs, waiting for something to start the conversation.

 

"What do you want Miroku?" InuYasha growled. Miroku felt the cold sweat down his back, but pushed it to the back of his mind.

 

"InuYasha…" Miroku closed his eyes, "I know your not wanting any attention, but please, if you…"

 

"I don't need any help Miroku."

 

"InuYasha…"

 

"Miroku…" InuYasha looked at him. The red eyes of sadness stared at him; Miroku looked at his broken friend.

 

InuYasha was completely different, his face twisted into a face of a demon. His fangs reaching down to his chin, his stripes as black as night, four of them stretching across each of his cheeks. His ears sharp and stiff on each side of his head, his silver hair in knots, and twisted, and his eyes, the red of evil, yet so sad.

 

InuYasha wore a black armor, apparently impenetrable by anything, the surface just took the image of dragons scales, remembering what InuYasha was forced to turn into sent anger through Miroku's head.

 

"InuYasha…" Miroku sighed and walked over to Kikyo's grave. "She wouldn't be scared of you, just like Kagome wasn't."

 

"What do you mean?" InuYasha asked.

 

"Kikyo, InuYasha, she wouldn't run away from you." Miroku looked at InuYasha. "Kikyo knows that's not truly what you are."

 

"No, but she wanted me human." InuYasha growled. "I'm really far from human at the moment."

 

"No you're not InuYasha." Miroku looked at his hanyou friend. "Your soul is half human, InuYasha. What ever your body is now, is not what your soul is."

 

InuYasha looked down further, "How?"

 

"InuYasha, you are what you want to be." Miroku came up and kneeled in front of him. "If you want to be a hanyou again, that's exactly what you are."

 

"Miroku…" InuYasha looked at him.

 

"InuYasha, don't let this bring you down further, Inuhidoi has been taken care of, its all up to you now, whether you want to be the same again or not." Miroku stood up, when he felt something snake around his left arm. He jerked and felt his heart shot fast in his chest, and spun around, InuYasha's red claw had wrapped around his arm, stopping from advancing.

 

"Thank you, Miroku." He let him go and looked at Kikyo's grave again. Miroku rubbed his arm, and started back towards the village, his heart sunk, he had done the best he could, he only hoped InuYasha would follow with his heart.

 

---

 

InuYasha curled his hand as he sat under the Goshinboku, the wind taking his heavy hair. Miroku's words came back to him, and felt his whole body shudder, what I want to be?

 

InuYasha looked up at the Goshinboku and moved his large hand over the spot where he had been pinned for fifty years. The memory of Kikyo shouting his name, as he felt the arrow pierce his chest, slamming his back into the tree's bark. He closed his eyes, and felt one wing jerk. InuYasha hissed softly, it was taking all his strength to just not rip them off.

 

Sesshomaru had caught him doing it and had slashed him the cheek, his onii came once in awhile. InuYasha always dreaded when Sesshomaru came, his body could easily kill Sesshomaru, and one petty argument, might make him killing his onii. InuYasha may hate Sesshomaru for the past, but it was the past, and it was stupid to kill your own family over petty fights.

 

The scars on Goshinboku had been grown over; the time traveling tree had removed the scars with its own power. InuYasha looked at his claws; the poison sank deep in his nose and forced him to look away. Two day since he had talked to anyone, after that day with Miroku, he had been deep in thought to talk.

 

Suddenly Kikyo's scent slammed his nose. InuYasha sat rooted to the spot, to scared to move. Kikyo! No, no, no! InuYasha forced his body to move, but it remained the heavy load on the ground….Kikyo.

 

The soul skimmers came into view, circling the tree, one hit him and disintegrated before his eyes, InuYasha gulped. Kikyo's shape come into view, she took a step back when she saw him her bow and arrow pointed straight for his face.

 

"Who are you?" Her voice sent cold shivers through InuYasha's body. InuYasha didn't make any movements, he must looked like a very dangerous youkai to her, his large body almost covering the entire clearing around the Goshinboku.

 

"Kikyo…" InuYasha looked down, his body waiting for the arrow to pierce him. He heard no 'whoosh' of an arrow being released, but heard the bow be pulled down, he shot a glance at the dead miko.

 

"InuYasha…?" InuYasha looked at her, her hand had gone to her mouth, and she had dropped her bow and looked like she had lost all sense. "InuYasha…is that you…?"

 

"Yes, Kikyo, it's me." InuYasha looked away, to ashamed to look her straight in the eye. He heard her footsteps comer closer to him, yet they were extremely slow, he felt a small palm come on the top of his large hand.

 

InuYasha looked at her, her face close to his, her body slightly on his leg and her hand on his. InuYasha blinked, a small tear had come down her face, he had never seen Kikyo cry, ever.

 

"Kikyo…" InuYasha started.

 

"InuYasha, how, how could have this happen to you?" She put her hand on his face and moved it down, over his large fang. InuYasha turned away. He felt the same; he couldn't look at Kikyo, just like he couldn't look at Kagome. But Kagome, he had done something awful to.

 

"Kagome, I did something awful…" InuYasha closed his eyes, he just couldn't bring the tear like Kikyo could. His body was that of an evil half-Kami, no emotion like his onii, yet no soft spot, for anyone.

 

"Kikyo please," He looked at her, "I don't…know if you should stay."

 

Kikyo stood up and looked at his left wing. "InuYasha what youkai did this to you?"

 

"He's dead Kikyo." InuYasha said. "I used my Tessaiga, and killed his soul."

 

"Then why..?"

 

"For now, Kikyo, I just don't know how long." InuYasha sighed. He stood up, banging his head on the lowest branch of Goshinboku, but no pain came. "Kikyo, I did something horrible to Kagome."

 

"No InuYasha," InuYasha looked at her, "If a youkai possessed you, your actions where not of your own." She took her bow and arrows and pulled it over her shoulder. "InuYasha, those wings are not a youkai, are they?"

 

"No," InuYasha jerked away. "But they are not a Kami either, it doesn't matter what Inuhidoi was, he's gone."

 

"Then, please InuYasha…" InuYasha looked down at her. "If he's gone, then decide whether or not he's taken your heart with him." And with that her soul skimmer and the young dead miko was gone.

 

"Kikyo…" InuYasha put his hand on his chest, Miroku had been right; she had not been scared of him.

 

---

 

As the night descended, Sango took Shippo and put him in the corner of Keade's hut and pulled out the bag where she slept in. She flattened the unusual sleeping bag on the floor of the hut and tucked both Kirara and Shippo in, and then looked at Miroku. He was asleep, his back up on the wall, and on the other half of the hut, InuYasha's large body consumed.

 

His red eyes, open, and yet so far. Sango kissed Shippo and Kirara on the head and walked over to the distraught hanyou. She pulled out a bottle of water Kagome had left and put on the floor next to InuYasha.

 

"Sango…" Sango turned around. "I saw Kikyo."

 

"I…you did?" Sango was wondering what was bothering him, besides the obvious.

 

"Yea…Miroku told me she wouldn't be afraid of me, but she cried, Sango she cried." He looked at her. "I've never seen Kikyo cry."

 

"InuYasha…" Sango sighed. "Kagome and Kikyo, have feeling for you, both of them saw what happened and took it as if, you were being pulled away."

 

"I was."

 

"Then…" Sango looked down. "You have your answer, why both Kagome and Kikyo were shedding tears."

 

"Is that why I smell yours?"

 

Sango jerked her hand to her cheek, to find a small prick of water hit her finger, she looked at InuYasha. "InuYasha, you have been there for Kohaku and I, I would never want to lose you to Inuhidoi either."

 

She looked down and walked over to Shippo. "Besides, Shippo would miss you, he loves you know."

 

Sango looked at InuYasha, and almost fell over in surprise; InuYasha had smiled, for the first time in months.