DBZ: The Major Motion Picture!: THE WHOLE SHABANG!!!

TennisPirates

MAJOR MOTION PICTURE!!!


I would like to apologize in advance for any craziness / stupidity witnessed in this fanfic. I am sorry. The title isnt really relevant; in fact, this whole shindig stemmed from an AIM conversation I was having with my friend. I decided to transcribe it into DBZ characters and go with it, and heres what came out! Im actually quite pleased. I thought it would just be stupidityas it turned out, its funny stupidity. I think. Please let me know, honestly, what you thought, but no flames, please. Its not supposed to make much sense, and keep in mind that I was on a sugar high when I wrote this. Oh, and remember to make sure you know whos talking. Otherwise it gets really confusing ^ ^;;

P.S. I thought it was funny that when I ran this through the spell-checker, it wanted to change Saiyans to Asians. Just in case you were wondering.

P.P.S. Dont own DBZ or DBGT. Dont wish I did, either. Too much stress.

P.P.P.S. Wish Trunks and Pan were closer in age, though.

P.P.P.P.S. Please review!

~_^

- I am the Tennis Pirate
~~

Scene takes place: nowhere in particular. Use your friggin imagination. Nobody is on stage. TennisPirate and Friend enter.

Nobody: Hey, cool, the opening line! Wow, whatll I say? Hmm I know! Ill sing a song! Ahem: Oh, say, can you see by the dawns early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilights last

TennisPirate: ~boots Nobody offstage~

Friend: Whatd you do that for?

TennisPirate: Do what?

Friend: You just booted him off the stage!

TennisPirate: No, I didnt!

Friend: Yes, you did!

TennisPirate: Whod I boot off, then?

Friend: Nobody!

TennisPirate: See?

Friend: Wait, Im confused

TennisPirate: Dont think too hard. Youll hurt yourself.

Friend: Tell Vegeta I said hes stupid.

TennisPirate: Huh? Why?

Friend: ~shrugs~ I want to see what will happen.

TennisPirate: Okay, I will next time I see him. ~sees him~ Vegeta, Friend says youre stupid.

Vegeta: Whos Friend, and how would he-slash-she know Im stupid?

TennisPirate: Ha, you admit it then!

Vegeta: I uh umm

Friend: Why dont I have a definite sex?

Vegeta: I am the Prince of the Saiyans! You must treat me with respect! I order you to

TennisPirate: ~squishes him with foot~

Mini Vegeta:

Oppressed Citizen: You killed him!

TennisPirate: I didnt mean to kill him! Its just that he was on fire, and

Oppressed Citizens: All hail TennisPirate! The wicked midget is dead!

Chibi Trunks: At least you didnt drop a house on himlike some people I could mention

Dorothy: Hey, its not my fault my aunt and uncle locked me out of the cellar during a tornado and I got hit in the head by a cellophane window-prop and somehow got whisked away (even though that makes no sense) to the magical land of Oz

Auntie Em: Oh, there she goes again, ranting about some dream she had. Dorothy, dear, did you take your medications this morning?

Dorothy: Umm

TennisPirate: Hey, guys, wrong movie!

Dorothy: ~points at oppressed citizens, TennisPirate, and Trunks~ And you, and you, and you and you were there!

Auntie Em: This isnt a movie, TennisPirate, its a fanfic.

TennisPirate: No, its a screenplay, and it will be a movie once I send it to Hollywood and they all agree its a masterful work of art, and it becomes a major motion picture, and my part is played by some hot size two with a D-cup bra who looks nothing like me but is extremely hot and sexy!

All:

Mini Vegeta: Help, Im melting! Meeelllltiinng! Ggaahh!

TennisPirate: Hey, youre supposed to be dead!

Mini Vegeta: Yeah, but I forgot to say that before.

Random Character With Little Significance in Regard to the Plot (But is Still More Significant Than Youd Think): Did he say B-4? Hey, Ive got BINGO!! What do I win? What do I win? Huh? Huh?

TennisPirate: ~peels Mini Vegeta off her foot~ Here.

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Awesome!! A miniature sadistic communist dictator bent on world-domination! Ill add him to my collection!

Mini Hitler: Does this mean I dont have to stand next to that purple freak anymore?

Mini Barney: Sing with me, Veggie! ~sings~ I love yooou, you love meee, were a happy family!

Mini Vegeta: NOOOOO!!! I didnt know I was bent on world-domination

TennisPirate: Shut up! This is my major motion picture, and if I say youre bent on world-domination, then, goddammit, youre bent on world-domination! DEAL with it!!

Chibi Trunks: Ooh, ooh, whos gonna play me?

TennisPirate: I dunno probably chibi Brad Pitt or chibi Michael Jackson or someone.

Chibi Trunks: But but theyre all grown up!

TennisPirate: Well, you dont seem to have any problem with jumping timelines! ~points at Mirai Trunks, who just appeared out of nowhere~

Mirai Trunks: Uh Shut up! *clutches head* Shut up!! SHUT UP!!! AAGGH, the voices, the VOICES!!! ~goes back to his own timeline~

Chibi Trunks: Was that me when I grow up?

TennisPirate: Yep.

Chibi Trunks: Wow, Im hot!

Mini Vegeta: Hey, whos gonna play me?

TennisPirate: ~thinks~ Hmm well, I think youll have to be this little light flashing aroundyou know, like they do when they have to have a fairy or something tiny like that.

Mini Vegeta: Im not a fairy!

Goku: Yeah, why do people always write fanfics of us getting together and stuff?

Chibi Trunks: Whend he get here?

Mini Vegeta: Thats not what I meant, baka.

Mini Barney: I love yooou, you love meee, were a happy family!

Goku: Stay away from Vegeta, Barney! Have you ever hit it off with Veggie in a fanfic? I think not!

Mini Vegeta: Now, wait a minute

Gohan: Hey, I got to make love to Vegeta in some fanfics, too!

TennisPirate: Eww Gohan, thats just sick! He could be your father!

Goten: Well, if Dad and Veggie get together, then, technically, he will be.

Bulma: ~shocked~ Vegeta! I never knew!

Vegeta: Why does everyone think Im gay?!

Dorothy: and if I ever go looking for my hearts desire again, I wont look any further than my own backyard!

Bra: You got that right, Dorothy! Come on, lets go look for some hot, straight guys! ~leaves with Dorothy~

Vegeta: Hey, Im straight! IM STRAIGHT!!

Goten: Eww, Vegeta, shes your daughter!

Vegeta: ~smacks forehead~

Bulma: Vegeta, honey, I think its time to go home. My friend knows this great marriage guidance counselor...

Vegeta: Dont you people listen? Im telling you, Im not

Mini Barney: Hey, I saw him first! ~runs towards Vegeta~

Goku: No way, dino-man! Veggies mine! ~attacks Mini Barney~

Goten: Waaahhhhh!! Daddy hit Barney! Waaahhhhh!!

Bulma: Hey, HEY! Give me back my husband! -runs towards Barney and Goku-

Gohan: Yes, publicity! ~joins the fray~

TennisPirate: Wow, this is gonna be a great movie! Action, romance, angst, Kansas farm girls, homosexuality

Vegeta: For the last time, Im NOT GAY!!!

TennisPirate: homophobia

Vegeta: GAAHHH!!

Trunks: Dont worry, Dad! Lots of people think me and Goten got a thing for each other. You should see some of the fanfics they write! Im telling you, theres some perverted minds out there

Goten: Yeah, yeah! Like the one where the person was going on like we were, like, best friends or something dumb like that! Ha ha, can you believe the stuff people will write? Whoo! Kills me every time!

Trunks: ~sweatdrops~

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Hey, am I gonna get any more lines in this fanfic?

TennisPirate: I TOLD you already: its a screenplay! And, no, probably not. Its too much of a pain typing RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) all the time.

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): So?

TennisPirate: So, Im not giving you any more lines!

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Ha, I made you type it again!

TennisPirate: Hey, stop it!

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): No.

TennisPirate: Yes!

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): No!

TennisPirate: Arrgghh, my fingers!!

Chi Chi: You know, you could just copy and paste.

TennisPirate: Really?

Uncle Henry: Whend she get here?

Auntie Em: Whend you get here?

Dorothy: Hey, cool, were still in this story?

TennisPirate: Its a SCREENPLAY!!! ~copies~ ~pastes~ RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT). Ha, it worked!

Vegeta: Oh, no

TennisPirate: ~goes on a pasting rampage~ RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT)!!! Wow, what a rush!

Pan: Hey, neat, can I try some?

TennisPirate: Sure! ~hands her keyboard~

Pan: RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT). Like that? That wasnt so great

TennisPirate: No, no, you gotta hold it down. RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT). See?

Pan: RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT). Wow, TennisPirate! You were right! This stuffs awesome! RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT) ~passes out~

Gohan: Pan!

Videl: What happened?

TennisPirate: ~sadly~ She O.D.d.

Videl: On what?!

TennisPirate: RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT).

Videl:

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Hey, Im being neglected over here

Videl: ~attacks him~ You made my daughter pass out!! You fiend! GAAAHHH!!

Pan: Hey, Mom

Videl: Not now, honey. ~continues beating up RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT)~

Pan: Why are you beating up RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT)?

Videl: Because he made you pass out, and for all we know, you could be dead, and theres nothing we can do about it ~pauses, looks at Pan~ Oh, youre awake heh, heh thats good

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Could you please let go of my neck? Youre starting to cut off the circulation to my brain bfghwgadnsshklllpr gummgummgumm

Videl: ~drops him~ Oops, sorry, my bad! ^ ^

Goku: ~emerges victoriously from catfight holding Vegetas hand~ Ha, ha, I won! I get Vegeta all to myself now! Mwahaha! I am the CHAMPION!!!

Vegeta: Kakarrot, do you even know what youre talking about?

Goku: Sure, I get to rent you out for a day through RENT-A-SAIYAN, and you have to clean my house and cook me food and watch my kids!

Chi Chi: I do all that already, Goku!

Goku: Oh, okay then, never mind.

Vegeta: Sooo youre not really gay?

Goku: ~slaps him~ Of course Im not, bee-otch! Omigod, you can be sooo annoying sometimes!

All: O.O

Vegeta: Whatever Woman! Boy! Were leaving.

Dorothy: Im a woman!

Goten: Im a boy!

Friend: My sex still hasnt been determined. Am I a male or female?

TennisPirate: Umm it doesnt really matter. Youre just gonna be a voiceover in the final production, so well just get someone who could be a boy or a girl.

Trunks: Hey whend Dad get un-minid?

TennisPirate: A looong time ago. Werent you paying attention?

Vegeta: I said were leaving!!

Dorothy: And were coming with you!

Vegeta: What! Why?!

Gohan: ~goes Super Nerd 2~ Well, Vegeta, its really a simple matter of basic logic. You see, when you announced that the quote boy and quote woman were to follow you, you failed to specify which of the females and which of the males you were actually talking about. Therefore, Goten and Dorothy assumed you must be talking to them. Now, if we take into consideration the frequency and wavelengths of your voice, we can clearly discern that

Vegeta: If you dont shut up right now, I swear to Dende

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Dende? I thought your god was Kami!

TennisPirate: Oh, thats my fault. I dont really know the difference. I figure, when swearing, theyre pretty much interchangeable

Vegeta: As I was SAYING

Goku: Saiyan? Hey, IM A SAIYAN!! WAHOOOOO!! Do I win a prize? Do I? Do I?

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Youre as bad as me.

Vegeta: Shut up, all of you, just SHUT UP!!!

TennisPirate: ~calmly~ Vegeta, why dont you take your family home, and, this time, be specific who youre talking about.

Bra: And dont forget me this time!

Vegeta: Whayou? Whend you get back here?

Bra: Just now!

TennisPirate: Wait, hang on if Trunks is chibi, then Bra shouldnt have been born yet!

Bra: ~turns into fetus~

Goten: Eww

Trunks: Cool!

Vegeta: ARRGGHHH!!! Okay, okay: Purple-hair, Blue-hair, and fetus come on, were GOING HOME!!!

Fetus: ~sprouts legs and follows them~

Them: ~leaves~

Auntie Em: Blue? Purple? Whoa, I just realized this place its different

Dorothy: Thats cause its in color, Auntie Em!

Auntie Em: Color? What is this color?

Uncle Henry: Its a work of the devil thats not supposed to come along for a jillion years. Come on, Em, Dorothy, lets get back to good-old sepia tones.

Dorothy: Yeah, good idea: these ruby slippers totally clash with my dress!

Them 2: ~leaves~

TennisPirate: Well, looks like its just me and you, now, RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT).

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): What? What about Goku and Chi Chi and Friend and everybody?

TennisPirate: Nope, theyre all gone.

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Whered they go?

TennisPirate: Hey, my back hurts, okay?! Its time to end this screenplay! Sheesh havent you ever heard of plot-device?

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Umm

TennisPirate: Never mind Come on, RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT), lets make a fashionable exit. Ta-ta, everyone!

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT): Who are you talking to? I thought you said nobody was left!

TennisPirate: He is!

Nobody: ~waves~

RCWLSiRttP(BiSMSTYT):

Them 3: ~leaves~

Cricket: ~chirps~

Mini Barney: Ha HA! She thought she made me disappear, but she didnt! Im still here! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Mini Hitler: Daahh, what are we gonna do tonight, Barney?

Mini Barney: The same thing we do every night, Hitler: try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!

the end

~ TP