I can’t anymore… I tried to stay away but it’s catching up to me. I’ve been told I was useless the past 2 days after I messed things up.. They called me a "useless son of a bish" They expect me to be like a strong disciplined son.. But I’m not a guy, I was born as a girl in a different body it feels. I feel like I was a mistake, I keep waking up asking myself why did I deserve this. I try to speak up but I feel like I’m chained and my mouth is locked up by a covering. I don’t know what to do anymore. I really want to cuss at them rn but I can’t cuz I feel like I can’t speak every time and something holding me on a leash. I really want to end this but I can’t.. I need help They want to take, take take everything I have and shatter me like I’m a piece of shit and not an another living thing. I can’t live like this and I can’t hold myself much longer First I find out my lover is transphobic so I have to lie to them cuz Im pressured to lie to them since they would commit if they got another broke up and also have a death threating issue too and Ive been getting threatened and bullied more that hurt me badly and then my family makes my stability harder by taking away the ppl who help me and a special person to me and now I feel like my past 7 years are catching up cause I kept it in a jar

That's aweful, hon. Do you have access to an LGBT community in your city you can go to for support? Perhaps it's time to put some space between yourself and those that hurt you.

There is none due to tht I live in a small village..

This may not do much as I don't know the specifics of it or your situation, but the Trevor Project may be of some help, I hope. I am sorry that you are in this situation.

Would need some thing local.. but my parents will know something is up if I gone for 30 min over curfew

I just found out my lover's cancer got worse and he might pass soon.. idk what to do.. All I do now is just fall asleep with tears and cry