Lonely: Chapter 1

 

Thank you once again, Jen, for helping me polish this one until it shines...

WARNING CONTAINS SEVERAL SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES. IF YOU’RE NOT CURRENT WITH MANGA, THEN READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Akito leaned out of the circular window in her room and looked out over the barren, snow covered courtyard. She was bored out of her mind. Everyone was busy with the New Year’s banquet preparations and there was no one who really had the time to sit with her. God or no god, unless she was dying, even spending so much as a few minutes with her, seemed to upset the grand scheme of things. So she simply hung dejectedly in the open window, gazing out over her private garden, like some forgotten decoration. When she was younger all of this seemed so exciting to her with everyone rushing around and she had felt a sense of extreme importance. But now that she was older, it became tiresome and tedious beyond belief.

The smells from the kitchens in the main house wafted over to her in the faint breeze, making her stomach rumble in anticipation, and she thanked her lucky stars her visitor’s arrival and subsequent sliding back of the inner shoji covered it.

“Akito-sama...?” he said, his voice as soft as his whispered footsteps across the tatami mats.

“Kureno....” Akito replied. She continued to stare out the window, the falling snow suddenly more interesting than relieving her boredom.

“I thought you might like some company.”

A faint smile crossed Akito’s lips even as she lifted a thin shoulder in a slight shrug.

“Have you eaten? I can get you something if you’d like.”

His footsteps had stopped and there was a faint rustle of clothing as he sat.

“No...” Akito said, being deliberately vague. She could see him nod in her mind’s eye. Continuing to watch the snow fall from the silvery grey sky, Akito held her hand out the window, catching a few ephemeral flakes in her upturned palm. They melted upon contact and the young god of Juunishi felt a sharp pang of fear in her heart and a deep sadness. Her bond with the rooster had broken just as easily as the snow melted in her hand, yet it was far more painful. She heaved a sigh laden with a mix of sadness and ennui, the warm puff of air quickly disappearing in the cold.

Akito finally turned away from the window to face him. “Yes...?” she said softly. He now felt like a stranger to her, someone far away and distant unlike the way it had once been. The soul wrenching pain and fear that had once terrified her was now replaced with an emptiness that was a bottomless void of pure nothingness. Akito looked at him and tried to conjure up the old feelings but failed miserably and that misery made her turn on him. “Go!” she all but screamed at him. “Get out! Leave me alone!!” she shouted.

Kureno looked away sadly. He remained seated for several long tense minutes, before standing. “As you wish, Akito-sama,” he said softly, making no move to leave.

Suddenly the room felt even larger and more devoid of his presence than ever. Akito looked around wildly like a caged animal. She wanted to strike him hard across the face, and keep doing it until she drew blood. But something in his calm presence stopped her as she turned away from him. She took several huge gulps of the crisp winter air, the burnt tang of the charcoal in the room’s brazier helping to also center her, and calm her trouble spirit. Closing her eyes as her breathing evened out, Akito drew herself up to her full height. She looked proud and defiant, and just as distant from him as she felt.

“I’m lonely too,” he said simply.

Akito’s eyes snapped opened as she whirled around to face him, her mouth hanging open slightly in shock. The room shrank in size and the crisp cool air suddenly felt warmer. It may not have been much, but it was there, the faint beginnings of a bond. The god of the Juunishi smiled. I wonder if this is the bond Shigure is always writing about... the bond between a man and a woman. Akito’s smiled melted into a frown. “You may go...” she said softly as she waved him away with her hand. It’s certainly different from anything else I’ve ever felt before... She rubbed the side of her finger against her lip, hiding her faint smile. Yes...The sound of his whispered footsteps pulling her from her reverie,Akito looked over her should at his retreating form. Perhaps there is something to be said for being lonely... together.