Back When We Were Dumb: It Began On A Peaceful Sunny Day

“David! Shut the hell up!” “You’re the one talking!” “I was talking to shut you up! Sit still, or Adam’ll find us!” “You’re the one shifting!” “Shut up!” “Both of ya knock it off.” “Okay.” I peered through the bush I was hiding in. “David, you’re sitting poison oak.” “What? I am? Oh look, I am… AH!!!” Michele socked him in the arm and hissed, “Dude, shut the heck up!” “Oh! Oh! It itches! Itchy, itchy, itchy!” Adam poked his head through the bushes and said, “Next time, make David hide by himself.” I glared balefully at David and muttered, “I hate you.” Suddenly, searing pain shot through my right arm. It was like someone was stabbing my arm and then pouring salt into the open wound. Instinctively, my left hand shot up and grabbed my right bicep. I could feel my blood trickle out of the edges of the scar, run through my fingers, and continue down my arm. Someone was in very, very big trouble. If the blood flow and pain were that severe in the woods at noon, there was only one good answer: bear attack.

 

I took my hand from my arm and said, “Adam? Who haven’t you found yet?” “Brian and Jake. They were hiding together somewhere upstream…” He stopped and blanched. His face was sickly pale as his mind registered what he had just said. “There’s a bear cave upstream,” Michele said. Just then, a loud roar cut through the silence. “Augh!” I cried. The pain of the scar was unbearable; it was like someone was pressing a hot branding iron into my skin. The blood trickled down my arm faster. “Let’s hurry up while we can walk!” I yelled as I ran towards the source of the pain. Pain, I thought, Pain, memories, betrayal… why am I thinking about that? Brian and Jake are in trouble and I’m remembering past failures? I need to lay off on the orange juice. It’s making me think crazy stuff. Still…

 

“There it is!” David yelled, “Holy shit! That thing is huge!” “Dawn!” Rachel yelled, “What kind of bear is that?” “Why are you asking me?” I demanded. “Because you’re the animal expert!” she retaliated. I growled; my friends know me like they know their houses, and Rachel was no exception. “Grizzly,” I answered, “Still immature.” David and Adam snickered. “Aw,” I said, slapping the back of their heads, “you know what I mean. It’s not fully matured yet.” More snickers. “You guys are disgusting!” Rachel said. “There they are!” Michele announced, “Past the thorn bushes!” “You sure there’s no way around the bushes?” I asked. “Not unless you wanna swim the river.” “You’re the devil,” Rachel answered. After maybe three minutes of, “Ow…” “Get off my…” “Who touched my…?” “David!” “Would you get off of my…” we managed to get to the other side of the heavy brush. “Holy shit, dude,” Adam said, “We’re gonna get mangled. Maimed. Gutted. We’re toast.” “If you don’t shut your trap,” I growled, “You’re gonna be the live bait.” “Urk!”

 

I charged into the clearing, holding the wood-handled knife that I’d, uh, “borrowed” from my grandpa’s desk. I didn’t get to use the thing, because, well… look the bear was much bigger than it was on the other side of the bushes, okay? It must have been at least 5’ 6” on its hind legs. So I froze like a deer in the headlights of a big-rig. I shook myself back to reality and yelled, “Shah! Git outta here, ya mangy runt!” I didn’t know Grizzly Bears could run so fast; that thing was terrified. “You guys okay?” Rachel asked as Brian and Jake crawled down out of the pine tree. “Er, ya,” Brian stuttered, “Everything’s just, uh, peachy.” Suddenly, an explosion of red and yellow light turned our attention to the… gulp… the giant Miacis behind us. “Uh,” I said, “Hi?” “Giovani un! Chiedami tutte le quattro cose ed assegnerò i vostri desideri!” It said, “Young ones! Ask me of any four wishes and they shall be yours!” “Yah right,” I said, “If you’ll give us anything, how about wings that match our attitudes?” The Miacis’s eyes glowed white, and we all suddenly had wings. I looked at mine; one was black with a cluster of white in the center, and the other was the opposite.

 

“Yin-Yang. Me likey.” Rachel’s wings were blood-red; she does love to fight. Michele’s were (I swear on the Bible) rainbow colored; she is free-willed. David’s were green; he is envious and a joker. Adam’s wings were light blue; he is a great friend and teacher to us. Brian’s wings were mocha-brown edged gold wings; he’s very kind and helpful. Jake’s were black with a purple sheen to them. He is pretty morbid, which keeps our group in touch with reality. “Nice,” Jake said, “how about titles?” the Miacis’s eyes glowed again, and suddenly, we each had a word over our heads. I was the Leader; Michele, the Dreamer; Rachel, the Warrior; David, the Joker; Adam, the Teacher; Brian, the Helper; and Jake, the Defiant. “Powers to go with our titles!” Rachel demanded. I suddenly felt like I could move a mountain, and I’m sure the others did, too. I didn’t like the glint in Jake’s eye when he challenged, “merge our world with the Dragon Ball Z world!” Blinding light, then the Miacis was gone. Still staring at the place where the Miacis had been, I muttered, “Holy shit, dude.”

 

What will happen to us next? Find out in chapter three! And the Miacis was the real prehistoric ancestor of both the cat and dog.