Shampoo Hates Me: Songfic

Shampoo Hates Me

By Mari

(A.K.A Maricc, Maric, Mar, Animeiac, and Anime-iac)

Disclaimer: Mousse, Shampoo, Cologne, and the entire Ranma cast are the (c) properties of Rumiko Takahashi. "She Hates Me" is the (c) property of Puddle of Mudd. Rayband sunglasses are the (c) properties of Rayband.

It was just another typical day in the Cat Cafe at Nerima. Cologne was busy cooking the meals. Shampoo was busy serving them. And Mousse was busy cleaning up tables. Yes just another typical day that is until Mousse starts singing.

Mousse: Met a girl, thought she was grand.

"Did Mousse say something?" Shampoo asked liked she cared.

"Oh uh nothing, Shampoo." Mousse answered, trying to cover up his action.

Shampoo shrug it off and they went back to work.

But then Mousse starts singing again.

Mousse: Fell in love, found out first hand.

"Mousse found out what?" Shampoo asked again a little curious this time.

"I'm telling you it's nothing." Mousse replied getting a little annoyed. Which is it never happen to him before since she claims that he always annoys her. "What is wrong with me?" He asked himself. "I've never answered my beloved Shampoo like that before." Then he sings again.

Mousse: Went well for a week or two

"What's going out there?" Cologne called out as she came out from the kitchen.

"Great Grandmother, Mousse is acting very strange." Shampoo acknowledged her great grandmother.

"Mousse, are you bothering the customers again?" The Elder asked the young Chinese man with a suspicious look.

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Mousse shouted at them and he instinctually puts his hand over his mouth. "Did I just yelled at them?" He looked around and sees everyone looking at him like he is some kind of nut case. Then he looked at the angry glares of Shampoo and Cologne. "Oh man, they are really mad at me now. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut." But something inside him had other things in mind

Mousse: Then it all came unglued.

And it did as everyone in the Cat Cafe are staring at him.

Mousse: In a trap trip I can't grip! Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip!

Then Mousse starts getting a feeling that he never have before. Like some kind of force is making do these things. He should be afraid but for some reason he isn't and what's really strange that he seems to like it.

"I don't like the looks of this." Cologne affirmed as she gave Mousse a stern look.

"Mousse, are you feeling okay?" Shampoo asked being really concerned about him.

"Actually my dear Shampoo, I've never felt better in my whole life." Mousse answered her with a chuckled wicked grin as he took off his bottle-lens glasses and replaces them with a pair of prescribed Rayband sunglasses. Then he we back singing with more confidence.

Mousse: Then I started to realize! I was living one big lie

"Mousse! What is matter with you?" Shampoo demanded but he ignored her and jumped on the nearest tabletop.

 

(Chorus)

Mousse: *points at Shampoo* She fuckin hates me!

Everyone was in shocked when Mousse said that. He never talked to Shampoo like that before.

Mousse: Trust! She fuckin hates me! La la la love! I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none and ripped them away!

People are asking each other why is Mousse is acting this way. Then they looked at other two Amazons to see if they got any answers.

"Great Grandmother, why is Mousse acting like this?" Shampoo asked Cologne in a confused and scared manner.

"For once I do not know, child." Cologne answered her great granddaughter honestly with a small look of fear on her face. "I've never seen him like this before."

Mousse: *starts to rock his head a bit* She was queen for about an hour. After that shit got sour! She took all I ever had! No sign of guilt. No feeling of bad, no!

Now everyone is giving Shampoo some angry looks.

"So that's wrong with him!" Said an angry female customer.

"A cute guy like him tries to be nice to you and all you ever did is treat him like shit!" Added another one.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" A third angry female customer jumped in.

"Girls like you don't deserve guys like him" A fourth one defended Mousse.

"If a guy treats me nice and gives me everything, I married him!" A final angry female customer finished.

"Now see here!" Shampoo is getting defensive. "Mousse does not know what he is doing!" She tried to convince everyone that she is innocent but no one bought it.

"Yeah Right!" Shouted another customer. "We've seen the you treat this guy!"

Everyone is now surrounding both Shampoo and Cologne.

"Stay back or I'll..." Cologne tried to defend both her and Shampoo but someone cut her off.

"Or else what, you'll do that hocus pocus crap that you two always done to Ranma?" Called out another customer.

"Great Grandmother, I don't think we can fight all these people." For once Shampoo is afraid.

Mousse: *now rocking to his singing and everyone else is joining in* In a trap trip I can't grip! Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip! Then I started to realize I was living one big lie!

Chorus

Mousse ripped off his robe to reveal his naked upper body.

All the female customers were amazed that he has such a well-built body.

Then Mousse pulled a guitar from thin air and he begins to rock that thing like a pro.

Now everyone is rocking and jamming to Mousse's guitar playing and start to create chaos in the Cat Cafe.

"Aiah! They're going to wreck restaurant!" Shampoo cried in fear.

"We must hurry and stop them before they destroy everything." Cologne concluded and tried to make a dash to the kitchen door but Mousse and the customers with some food, plates, glasses, cup, and utensils cut them off. And it looks like they are not going invite Shampoo and Cologne for lunch.

"This is not good." Cologne indicated.

Shampoo just stood there looking scared.

Mousse: That's my story, as you see.

They all nodded in agreement.

Shampoo and Cologne gulped in fear. Afraid what are they going to do next.

Mousse: Learned my lesson and so did she. Now it's over, and I'm glad 'cause I'm a fool for all I've said!

 

Chorus

Before they know it, everyone starts throwing everything at the two evil Amazons.

Shampoo and Cologne tried to shield them selves from the flying objects but to no avail. They are being plummeted by what is being thrown to them.

All the customers finished throwing stuff at them and Mousse casually walked up to them.

Shampoo thought that he is sorry and wanted to help them. Boy was she wrong.

"Mousse, Shampoo is so happy that you're going to save us!" Said Shampoo with a smile.

But her smile dropped when Mousse gave her his wicked smile.

"Shampoo you fool!" He called her with an evil glint in his eye. "Do you really think that I'll do that after all the shit you put

me through?" He slightly chuckled.

"WHAT! How dare you talked to Shampoo that way!" Shampoo yelled angrily. But her anger turned to fear when she sees whitish blue battle aura that is radiating around Mousse.

"Because I can." Mousse answered with a dark tone in his voice. Then he raised his hand at her and Cologne. Next, a small gathering of his battle aura is now forming into an orb.

"But why Mousse?" Shampoo pleaded. "Don't you love Shampoo anymore?"

"Let's just say, I out grew you." Mousse countered as he finished gathering all the energy he needs.

Mousse: La la la la la la la la la love! Trust!

That's when Cologne realized what Mousse is going to do. "Shampoo! Get Away From Him! He's Too Dangerous Now!"

Mousse: *now with a form of energy on his hand* La la la la la la la la la love! Trust!

"Aiah!" Shampoo replied in confusion but it was too late.

Mousse blasted both Shampoo and Cologne flying to who knows where.

Mousse: She fuckin hates me!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" The two Amazons screamed in pure terror as they fly into space.

Back in the Cat Cafe. Everyone was cheering for what Mousse had done.

He blasted away the only girl that was in love with since he was three. And he doesn't feel bad about. For the first time in his life. He is happy.

The End.