Comedy Central Presents: Trunks: One shot

Comedy Central Presents: Trunks Briefs-Vegeta

By

Mari (A.K.A Maricc and Maric)

Disclaimer: Trunks and all the DBZ-GT characters are the (c) properties of Akira Toriyama. Comedy Central Presents is the (c) property of Rick Mill Productions and Comedy Central.

A/N: Trunks is 28 years old

*Music playing*

Announcer: From Satan City Theater. Comedy Central Presents: Trunks Briefs-Vegeta!

*Trunks runs up on stage that has a backdrop set of former Planet Vegeta.*

Crowd: *cheers*

Trunks: Hello, my name is Trunks and yes this is my real hair color. *Sarcastic smirk*

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: I'm glad you like it. I hate my hair color. I think my mom was eating too many grapes when she was pregnant with me.

Crowd: *more laughs*

Trunks: I'm serious. She must've had grape cravings. How did she get them I better not want to know. I wish I had my dad's hair. All cool and black and spiky. But my dad said *doing his impression of Vegeta* a pure blooded Saiyan’s receives his/her hairstyle from the day he/she is born. *Goes back to himself* Well I guess this means that his mom was eating hair products when she was pregnant with him.

Crowd: *even more laughs*

Trunks: My best friend said *doing his impression of Goten* "Well why don't you dye your hair black and you might look like ieither one of the Backstreet Boys or N*SYNC." *Being himself* No I won't. I would look like Moe Howard of Three Stooges.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: But I did try to dye my hair black once, then I try to spike it up. But when I try to, some things went wrong. Like the dye keeps running down my back and the mousse and gel turns it into black paste. It looked like I was putting tar in my hair.

Crowd: *laughs a little*

Trunks: And to top it off, my hair dryer exploded from the overload of trying to dry the dye, gel, and mousse barrier.

Crowd: Aww...

Trunks: *sarcastic* Thank you for your sympathy.

Crowd: *quiet laugh*

Trunks: Well the good news is that I had my hair spiked up. The bad news it looked like a giant spider that got caught in my

father's ki blast attacks.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: I'm glad that you find it funny. My mom screamed bloody murder when she saw me like that.

Crowd: *laughs more*

Trunks: And what does every mother do when her child suffers of self-hair injuries.

Crowd: They took us to a hair parlor.

Trunks: That's right, they took us the emergency hair parlor. The siren of our car went *does his imitation of a car siren*

EEEWWWEEEWWWEEEWWW!

Crowd: *laugh*

Trunks: The staff of hairstylists had to carry me on a salon chair.

Crowd: *laugh*

Trunks: *doing his impression of the hairstylist emergency team* Code Red! Code Red! We got a self-hair injury victim here! Give him conditioner and send out the specialist! Stat!

Crowd: *laughs more*

Trunks: My mom was right behind and shouting *doing his impression of Bulma when she panics* Oh Please Dear Dende! Save My Baby!

Crowd: *eruption of laughs*

Trunks: They took me to this room where it has white marble tile on the floor and sink. And there were mirrors all around. Now my hair injury can scare people off in different directions.

Crowd: *laugh*

Trunks: Now everyone knows that all these hair parlors have a lot of good hairstylist and at least one derange hairstylist that

thinks he or she is a genius but who should never go near a pair of scissors. Guess who I ended up with. *The Vegeta like sarcastic smirk*

Crowd: *laughing for figuring out whom Trunks got*

Trunks: That's right! I got the derange one!

Crowd: *laugh, hooted, and applauded*

Trunks: He was dressed in brightly neon psychedelic colors. His hair was in a curved up tube position. And he walks like he has a Mega wedgie in his @$$. *Walks with one foot in front of the other and twisting his hips*

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: *stops walking* And he talks like the underwear has gotten all the way in. *does his impression of the hairstylist* Well Hi there!

Crowd: *laughs more*

Trunks: *still doing his hairstylist impression* Oh poor poor boy! It seems that you have an unfortunate accident. Well never fear! I, The Great Revlon, shall relieve you from your suffering!

Crowd: *bigger laughs*

Trunks: *back as himself* So he started working on my hair. You think that this guy would at least fix my hair, right? Wrong! It looked worst than before!

Crowd: *biggest laugh of all*

Trunks: First off, he didn't wash out the mousse and gel that was baked in my hair! Then he bends around me to work on the bangs. His face was this close to mine! *Puts his hand about 1/8 inches close to his face* And his breath smells like turpentine and skunk.

Crowd: EEEWWW!!!

Trunks: So I asked him, "Excuse me Mr. Revlon.." *as The Great Revlon* "That's The Great Revlon!"

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: "Why are you working on my bangs first?" *The Great Revlon* "This is how they taught us back in stylist school." *himself* "Oh really." "Did they also tell you skip over the washing of the hair first?" "Because incase you haven't notice, I have a barrier of mousse and gel baked in my hair!"

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: *The Great Revlon* Well I was taught to do this, so if you please, I must have silence! *Himself* So he went right on "fixing" my hair. When he finish, it now looks like that giant spider has been amputated!

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: I only had about this much hair left. *Brings his forefinger and thumb about 3/8th of an inch*

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: When my mom came in to see how we were doing, she pulled a Chichi on The Great Revlon made him cower in a corner of the salon.

Crowd: *big laughs*

Trunks: So we went back home and Mom told Dad about what happen and what that butcher of the salon did to me. As the result, my dad did something that many fathers will do if their kid was in this situation. He went to that salon and beat the crap out of that guy!

Crowd: *applause, laughs, cheers, hoots, and howlers*

Trunks: *hand over microphone* We got another victim of an angry father! Give him a 35mm of anithstatics and send out a

specialist! Stat!

Crowd: *laughs*

(Commercial Break)

Anonymous Voice Over: Heard about Fanfiction.Net plans about getting rid of List, MSTings, and Actor fics from their site?

If you love them and want to save them, then come to Viva La Resistance at http://vivalaresistance.20megsfree.com/ and sign up their petition to demand them to let them stay. Your signature will make a difference. FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN!!

(Commercial Break ends)

Trunks: Other than the Gravity Room, there's another form of technology that my dad likes, television. My dad loves it because most of the shows are some how connected to his life and some of the things he likes. For instance, he likes The Addams Family and The Pretender because they both remind him of his childhood. Ah yes, a kid that was taken away from his home and family to cause massive destruction.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: Sightings incase he sees someone he knows.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: *doing his impression of Vegeta* Wait a minute! I know him! He owes me money!

Crowd: *more laughs*

Trunks: *back to himself* The Twilight Zone because both he and Rod Serling sound about the same.

Crowd: *laugh*

Trunks: The Crocodile Hunter because we like to root for the animal trying to eat Steve Irwin.

Crowd: *bigger laughs*

Trunks: And last a show that he and my mom love to watch together. Real Sex on HBO and Cinemax!

Crowd: *applause, cheers, hoot and howlers*

Trunks: My dad actually takes notes on that show!

Crowd: *roaring laughs*

Trunks: My parents couldn't agree to watch a same channel, but "Real Sex", they will watch that together.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: They wouldn't even let me watch South Park by myself but it's okay for them to watch other people having sex on a national network.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: What are they going to learn? How to do it at a distance?

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: Janet Reno was right. There are too many evil influences on television these days. *Smirk*

Crowd: *laugh*

(Commercial Break)

A.V.O: Tired running out of ideas for a fanfic? Want to write a fanfic but don't know what to write about? Then contact me, Mari, at [email protected] and I'll be happy to give an idea. Whether if it's anime, non-anime, regular TV, books, comics, video games, RPG, movies, or an original, I will help you think of something. Be sure to tell me what are your favorites series, books, comics, games, or movies and I will think of a idea for you and if I don't what your favorites are about, then I'll do some research to find what you are talking about. That's [email protected] I'm available anytime you need me. Contact me day and/or night.

(Commercial Break Ends)

Trunks: I love my dad. I really do. It's just that he is a very scary man. How scary is he?

Crowd: *mumbling*

Trunks: You know that most houses have signs that say "Beware of Dog"?

Crowd: *mumbling* Yeah?

Trunks: At our house we have sign that says "Beware of Father".

Crowd: *laughs really loud*

Trunks: We also have another sign on the door that says, "If a man with spiky hair answers, RUN!"

Crowd: *laughs louder*

Trunks: My dad and I are about the same height, it's his hair that makes him taller, but he has a scary and powerful voice. When people call our house and he answers, they think they are talking to the devil.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: *doing his impression of a phone ringing* *an Anonymous caller* Hello, is Trunks there? *Vegeta* Trunks can't come to the phone right now!

Crowd: *more laughs*

Trunks: *Anonymous caller* EEP! *Phone hanging up* click.

Crowd: *big laughs*

Trunks: *back to himself* We get rid of a lot of telemarketers that way. *Evil Vegeta-like smile*

Crowd: *even more big laughs*

Trunks: Another thing my dad likes to do is when my school was sending out those bumper stickers that said 'My Kid Is an Honor Student at Orange Star High'. He pencils in 'And He Beat Up Yours'.

Crowd: *bigger laughs*

Trunks: Which might explain why I was never harass at school. *Same evil Vegeta-like smile*

Crowd: *biggest laughs*

(Commercial Break)

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(Commercial Break ends)

Trunks: Anybody in here has sisters?

Crowd: *applauds*

Trunks: That's what sisters do to you. They drain the life out of you.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: Why is that when you have sisters, your parents make you do the demented things?

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: For instance, my parents "volunteered" me to be counselor at my little sister's summer camp.

Crowd: Auuu.

Trunks: Oh come on! It's not as cute as it sounds. We are talking about spending a month in the middle of nowhere with over hundreds of five year old girls. It's nothing more than pure torture!

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: Oh you think it's funny. You tried spending four weeks being makeover and singing kindergarten songs and see how you like it!

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: I have one of the letters that I wrote home from camp so you can all hear my pain. *Pulls out the letter from his pocket and starts reading it* Dear Mom and Dad. It's been a week since I've came to camp but it feels like years.

Crowd: *small laugh*

Trunks: *still reading the letter* We keep losing a lot of good counselors to the enemy during this time. I don't think many of will last around here.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: *reading* It's hard to keep focus knowing that they are watching our every move.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: *reading* It's hell I tell you! Hell!

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: *reading* How could you do this to me!?

Crowd: *big laughs*

Trunks: *finishing reading the letter* Someday I shall have my revenge! Love, Trunks.

Crowd: *laughs and applause*

(Commercial Break)

A.V.O: When visiting Fanficion.Net be sure to check out Flute Damioh's stories. They are the best I have ever read. If you don't have time to browse around for them then just type her name in the search box next the author label and click the "go" button. You'll find her in the search listings. And while you're at it, if you are Grim Reaper fan, please check out her profile. She is the author of the Saiyan Vampire Saga. But she's been having a dry spell after chapter 15. Please e-mail her and tell her how much you love her stories and ask her to keep making more. She needs our support and reviews. This has been a public service announcement.

(Commercial Break ends)

Trunks: My time is almost up, but before I go, there's something that you should know. It's hard for me to tell you all this but I need to get this off from shoulders.

Crowd: *whispers among themselves wondering what is he talking about*

Trunks: I am a child of over sexed parents.

Crowd: *laughs and moans (but in a disgusted way)*

Trunks: Yes that is my deepest darkest secret. *Puts hands on face in shame*

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: It's not funny! *Frowns*

Crowd: *laughs some more*

Trunks: You have no idea how hard it for me to live like that!

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: They go about it every night! Around two or three thousand times!

Crowd: *gasped and fell over*

Trunks: And they wonder why I always sleep during school. *Vegeta smirk*

Crowd: *made a quick recovery and laugh*

Trunks: Plus it was harder for me to explain my sister what were those noises coming from my parents' bedroom. "No, Bura, that's just house settling."

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: I had spent most of my childhood sitting under my desk so those fallen objects won't crush me.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: My parents know about every single position that not even Dende has seen!

Crowd: * big laughs*

Trunks: They are probably the only people I know who joined the Mile High Club without a plane!

Crowd: *roaring laughs and cheers*

Trunks: And last off, I was running out of excuses for my teacher why I keep falling asleep during class.

Crowd: *laughs*

Trunks: That's my time. Goodnight everybody! *Waves good-bye and runs off the stage*

Crowd: *applause and cheers*

*Music starts up and the end credits rolls*

The End