February Monthly 2022 - Archie the Cupid: Archie February Monthly 2022

Archie was toddling about on a fine wintry day, doing the Archiest of things as per usual when his ears picked up sad little noises coming from a nearby bush. He took a step in that direction when his foot stepped on.. a stick? No.. a strange arrow. The little trail of broken arrows made like a path that he followed until Archie’s eyes (or at least one of them) laid upon the little not-stryx bird thing looking longingly through the brush. Two stryx that had landed in a clearing before them, idyllically glittered with pristine snow that shimmered in a ray of sunlight that filtered through the clouds. It was a downright romantic setup, in Archie’s opinion, a perfect place for two stryx to gaze into each other’s eyes and fall in love.

Their meeting was obviously by happenstance, and the two looked at each other for a long moment of confusion, having not expected to meet someone in this ideal landing spot. The air sparkled, the winter birds sang…. And nothing happened. They both shook themselves slightly, seeming to shrug it off and go their separate ways. Archie’s eyes watched the two independently as long at they could before snapping back into normal positioning, rattling like two acorns in a globe before settling. Surely this would have been an ideal time for cupid’s arrow to fly!

He then looked to the broken arrows that littered the ground. Then to the bird. Then to the arrows again. All those rattling acorns in his feathery brain meats finally seemed to settle as his waggling head became still again, and he puffed up his chest. Why yes, he would help the little cupid!

The cupid seemed delighted. At least until Archie began -eating- the arrows that littered the ground. Hey who-what… what was the meaning of this!? The Cupid chattered angrily, hopping up and down as Archie absolutely demolished the unorthodox snack. How could he do such a thing!!

The worry was assuaged when Archie showed his new friend a cool little trick, opening his expansive maw to spew out a breath of weaponized love hearts. The Cupid’s eyes bugged from his little feathery head before leaping into the air for joy. Oh boy, not only would this solve his issue for the day, but he was going to hit his quota five-fold with this odd-eyed romance gatling gun! 

The portly Tyto dipped down with a grand flourish, inviting the cupid to jump astride his neck. And so they rode off into battle. Sort of. The battle of love, maybe? Somewhere in the distance, the ‘Neverending Story’ ending song played as they reenacted some absurd reenactment of Falcor chasing down the bullies, laughing with manic glee as hearts spewed out of his mouth and splatting wetly against ruffled and panicked feathers. 

Panic gave way to instantaneous love as the cupid steered Archie’s head in the direction of his intended targets, occasionally checking a list that he seemed to pull from the ether before marking off each name with a glittery pink check punctuated with a heart at the tail end of each one. 

They were nearly done for the day as they passed on over as the former Wraith lounged in the sun that had decided to peek out despite the snow that blanketed Wyvera, looking up with curiosity at the slightly familiar sight of the odd stryx being ridden by a cupid. Huh, that’s weird.

Archie waved with his wing excitedly, nearly falling from the sky as he did so. Oh yes, typical Archie stuff. With a shriek, he plummeted within range, running into a pine tree as he did so. Oh geez, he was allergic to pine! On a collision course with Wraith, he drew back with a mighty breath and- Aah. Ahh. CHOO. 

The Wraith yelled out in annoyance as she received a pelting of hearts to the face, shaking it off with screech at the rapidly escaping Archie. The tyto meekly screeched an apology over his shoulder but high tailed it out nonetheless. She was a rather nice stryx nowadays but still not one he wanted to go toe to toe with if he didn’t have to. Besides, surely pelting the infamous stryx with a showering of love hearts wouldn’t have hilarious and far reaching consequences… right? 

The sun was setting by the time Archie’s love heart power puttered to a stop, lasting just long enough to join the last two lovebirds on the Cupid’s list. As the final names were crossed off, the paper dissipated in a flourish of pink dust. The green tinted little cherub leapt for joy as he cheered, chirping its accolades to the proud Tyto in a flurry of excited caws. He waved his goodbyes with a stumpy little wing, promising he’d cross paths with Archie again the next time he had a job to do!