Writing Critique Requested

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  • Orbis Comdentis

    It's a bit...abnormal.

    Last updated Nov 26, 2022
    Total Chapters 1
  • Using my fire to help guide others at night.

    Sitting on the top of a stone cliff, I cup my hands and will the bluish white fire I can control into existence. Spreading my hands while extending my arms to their full length, I make it grow into a ball of fire as big as I am tall. I've always thought of it as a gift of sorts but others treat it like it's a curse, they see it as a mark of a demon and now I'm starting to not like it. In spite of that, I still try to use it to help, like I am now. Sleep hasn't been an issue for me so serving as a makeshift lighthouse at night is something I do whenever I can.

    Last updated Nov 26, 2022
    Total Chapters 1
  • New to the races

    Trying to figure out how to make an airship run off of my fire.

    Last updated Nov 26, 2022
    Total Chapters 1
  • Magna Dracorex

    Someone who's generally misunderstood.

    Last updated Nov 26, 2022
    Total Chapters 1
  • What have I gotten myself into?

    I'm not sure why I agreed to go to a party.

    Last updated Nov 26, 2022
    Total Chapters 1
  • The Ballad of Cassius Basolus

    An Introduction to the history of the halfling entertainer Cassius Basolus, and how he came to be a lone traveler bereft of friends and family, heart broken, but undaunted. 

    Last updated Nov 12, 2022
    Total Chapters 2
  • Colours of Orange

    "Oof! These things are heavy!" Kalina gasped as she lugged yet another large pumpkin for her birds to work on. Earlier that day Luath, Sahari, Glazi and Veraz as well as their rider had spent the day gathering pumpkins, and, now that that work was done, were all patiently waiting for their own gourds to exercise their artistic skills on, and Sahari's was the last. Once everyone had been given something to use, it was time to hand out the rest of the supplies. Bird-sized paint brushes, pots of paint, and other such materials were being brought over so that everyone could have a good time getting their gourds ready for the season of harvest.

    "When you're all ready, you can begin."


    Okay. She had her own "canvas" to work on, Sahari noted while Luath was busy carving up his own fruit with his beak into... Whatever it was supposed to be, and his enthusiasm had her pumpkin half-covered in guts. If she wanted to paint it, she'd have to move it away from the white-headed hawk.

    With a nudge, she rolled it off the pallet it had been placed on, onto the ground, then proceeded to struggle to get it to move away to someplace cleaner.

    "You want help?" Kalina offered, then began as together she and the long-leg pushed it out of Luath's range. "Better now?"

    Sahari trilled.

    Kalina went to get Sahari's paints and brushes, then helped her get re-set up.

    "Give me a hoot when you're done."


    Oh dear. Poor Sahari. She'd had such a wonderful idea for what her pumpkin should look like, but what she ended up with was something that looked like it had been covered in seven shades of mud, and she was now making some very unhappy sounds as she looked at the disaster she'd made.

    "What's wrong?"

    A sad whistle.

    "Did you remember to clean your brushes off between colours?"

    Oh. Was that what she was supposed to do?

    "No problem. We'll clean it off and you can try again."

    Last updated Nov 9, 2022
    Total Chapters 0
  • Cover for Kiri's Story

    Kiri's Story

    Kiri's story: Events and ARPG happenings


    Last updated Oct 7, 2022
    Total Chapters 3
  • Fire and Water

    When Prince Aeilus decides to run away from home, he runs into a Greenwing Fairy, named Kael, who offers to help him. Unfortunately, once they make it through a portal, it closes behind them, and the two begin adventuring together to find Kael a way home.


    AKA, the story of Kael Vivid and Aeilus Swallowtail, my Paper Demon Art RPG characters.

    Last updated Aug 13, 2022
    Total Chapters 5
  • Issue 22 Dark Water Mage Magazine

    It's the latest edition of the Dark Water Mages Spellbook magazine has of 2022 with latest spells imagineable brought down to a science availalbe were magazines and newspapers are sold

    Last updated Jul 18, 2022
    Total Chapters 3
  • Ripple's Adventures

    A whole lot of stories for RIpple the Aqrion

    Last updated Jun 16, 2022
    Total Chapters 2
  • new magic afoot

    polly helping their sister with there new magic

    Last updated Mar 11, 2022
    Total Chapters 1
  • Cover for Cold Steel

    Cold Steel

    The Metal Realm in the world of Panthera has been known to contain the souls of those who have passed on and have been reanimated as Metallized walking corpses in time for judgement and resurrection. Each of their stories are casted and told, with each narrating their lives and watching as they end.

    Last updated Feb 12, 2022
    Total Chapters 2
  • Lyric's Eventide Portal Adventure - Part 2

    The second chapter in Lyric's adventure through the Eventide portal!

    Last updated Feb 1, 2022
    Total Chapters 0