Just saw Twilight the movie so I could make an educated judgement for myself if the anti fanbase had grounds to mock by.

I'm safely NEVER going to become a Twilight fangirl. VERY safely. Edward Cullen did NOTHING for me.

I'm sorry Twilight fans. If you don't want to read about how much I laughed at the movie, please stop here, cause I had to make a journal on it. It's not that I hate the movie- the movie was really good. It's just... you can't dress mutton to look like lamb. The movie had some wonderful stuff in it, but you can't make a great movie if the story has so many... not so much flaws, but annoying things in it.

It was a great watch. When I wasn't cringing, I was laughing out loud... at them >.>


Warning once more- CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE MOVIE!!

Not that you can spoil it much... the storyline is mostly predicable


So, lets get down to basics here. I'm a fair person, so the good stuff comes first

• Bella's father started off slow, but by the end, he won me as the star of the show. Specially that one scene. Bella is about to go to the ball with Edward, and she's talking to her Dad. She's all "Edward is here," and her Dad has this SHOTGUN in his hands and is loading it as he talks. He pops in to get her and says she looks beautiful, and her Dad loudly closes the shot gun and arms it ready to shoot. HOLEY CRAP. I LOVE THIS GUY!! XD 'Home by midnight or you're DEAD, pretty boy!'
•  Vampire baseball. They only play it in thunderstorms. To mask out the colateral damage they make as they smack the snot out of the poor leather ball XD It was freaking epic. This scene ALONE tells me that the people that adapted the book had a sense of humour.
•  Bella isn't stupid. Her research... it was mundane (Why on earth did people not put two and two together before now? O.o ), but it was done interesting like. She seems very aware of things which I like. That's a bit of plot armour though...
•  Edward's 'father'. I actually liked him. If he was Edward instead, I'd actually buy the romance thing. He was very charming, and hospitable. He was pretty handsome for a 300 year old vamp too ;) Actually, the whole 'family' were cool. They were so homely to her ^^ Then she brought her own food when they cooked her up this awesome meal >.>
•  Heheh... Edward stopping the car with his hand should've been left a secret to ACTUALLY shock me, but it was a beautiful scene. If only he became more in love with her after that than more obsessive.
•  The music. Muse and Linkin Park. Damn... It was PERFECT.

...


Buuuut... there were negatives. It was awesome. Not in a positive way though

1. Sparkles. I was expecting the sparkles to be a blanket across the movie- like underworld with the blue eyes. There was only TWO scenes luckily, and it wasn't too bad. I would've been fine with it if Edward wasn't so disgusted with his appearance in sunlight, and Bella didn't compare him to diamonds. She could've said he looked beautiful. Or even amazing. I could buy that- it was pretty special effects. The over play BURNED the scene so bad. I nearly bought the whole Vampires sparkling in the sunlight thing. I mean- creative freedom though, right?
2. The Sexual tension was in EPIC proportions. She's looking at him with this obsessive look like she was infactuated with his vampire abilities than with him, and he was obsessed with how delicious her 'scent' was, and how he couldn't read her mind... oh, the reading mind thing? That's next. Oh... yeah... Edward can read minds!! Isn't that handy to have over super strength, speed, and sexual prowess?
3. Yes- Edward reads everyone's minds, except hers. Here's my theory. Since she's so brave, and isn't scared of Edward's obsessive 'I'm gonna suck you dry' look, my theory is she has no brain to read. Can't hear thoughts. Brave as a new born child, it makes ALOT of sense.
4. So, angsty, anti sociable Bella goes to a new town, immediately gets hit on by a childhood friend, brushes him off with anti-sociable whatevers, drives off in her 'uncool' old van that says uncool for only 1 scene, gets hit on by another 5 guys in the first 5 minutes of the movie, brushes ALL of them off with antisocial whatevers, TOTALLY eye humps Edward as he eye humps her, and suddenly noone else in the world exists... and she's like EPIC popular somehow? Has she got 'I'm awesome' pheromones? Like... even her father- TOTALLY cold to him. She plays cold REALLY well. My heart broke for her father. You could tell her loved her so much and she didn't even cry for him. It was all ANGST FACE then "Oh wait- there's Edward!!". She doesn't smile much
5. EDWARD F@#$%ING WATCHERS HER SLEEP AND SHE DOESN'T BATTER AN EYELID!! He's not fascinated by her- he's waiting for his appetite to peak to the point where he doesn't care about waiting. F@#$ING STALKER!!! I would've gone "Well, please stop doing that- sit beside me and cuddle me you popsicle.". Apparently dodgy vamps watching her sleep night after night isn't an issue to her
6.  Edward's WHOLE family drive like maniacs!! Not everyone is immortal you freaks!!
7. The 'lets beat the hell out of Bella, make her scream' as we video thing was twisted, but not exciting viewing. I was disgusted watching it. Not entrapped. All vamps in that world are stalkers. Kill them all
8. Edward you DOLT. Bella was nearly turned into a vampire and you just had to save her the luxury of being immortal and sparkly forever like you. Give Bella another 5 minutes of excruciating pain, and she would've been young and beautiful FOREVER. And not feeble and flimsy. And oh, if another vamp decides to use her to piss you off, she can defend herself. Apparently he wants her to become an old haggard woman while he stays a young and gorgeous popsicle. Yeah- he'll love her more when he's a toy boy. Cradle snatcher. Live together forever... doesn't that sound appealing? And you didn't have to go through the risk of draining her blood completely if you liked drinking it too much?
9. Lol- Vegatarian vampires. Just cause they eat animals and not humans. Just lol. Angel and Spike would hit them over the head so hard.
10. Bella is such a rude girl. "Yeah! Lets go clothes shopping" "Yeah- you look great in that dress *unenthusiastic tone* Uh, I'm not that interested in shopping for clothes. I'm gonna research about Edward- see ya!" Supposed best friends gawk at her as she bolts out of the store and wtf for a moment. Totally STRANDED.
11. Vampire armada in Buffy the vampire slayer- stakes, crossbows, swords, martial arts, more stakes, silver bullets. Twilight armada? SMELLY CLOTHES. Awesomeness fail. Come on- they're alive for 300+ years and don't learn at least ONE weapon besides their teeth?

My humble and honest opinion?

In conclusion, I went into the theatre expecting a terrible movie based on what I heard. I was entertained by it however. I think everyone should watch it once. With friends. You'll either love it or hate it, but both side will enjoy it for two separate reasons, cause the movie mock itself. You'll have TONES to laugh about afterwards.

I can DEFINITELY confirm that Bella is a Mary Sue. Quintessential in fact. She is smarter than she lets out, and I'm pretty sure I can honestly say that she is what keeps the romance going cause Edward sure as hell isn't.

Edward? He bores me to tears. He wines all the time about how there's this huge barrier between them and refuses to fix it by changing her into a vamp. Her becoming a vamp would fix ALL their problems. His sparkle effect was interesting, and he's got the pretty boy factor, but I liked his family INFINITELY better.

I think the movie played the story up a bit cause it was in action. It'd be dull to read as a book I reckon, cause the plot moved so slowly... or was that the sexual tension slowing it down? Hard to tell.

Plot line? Predictable as heck, but I didn't mind that. Aside from the bad acting from anyone that wasn't 'related' to the two leads, I rather liked it ^^ I wish there was less Bella/Edward, and more of the secondary characters. They were interesting.

All and all, It was an awesome movie. Not cause the movie was well produced, not cause I loled at it really hard, but it was entertaining even to a now confirmed non fan. I've decided that I'm not anti Twilight. I'm anti Bella and Edward. Sparkly vampires? I can deal with that. It's like making a movie about Barbie. Isn't it a perfect world? It can be nice. I think the Bella x Edward obsession was its downfall. Take the two leads out, and Twilight could actually entertain me enough to read it. Those two obsession is SO unhealthy T.T

Not reading the book in otherwords. I think I've seen enough. If the book has more sparkles, over description of Edward's ungodly beauty, and more sexual tension than the movie, then I DON'T wanna go there. I can tolerate a vanilla plot, raping of mythos, and unexplained reasons for fangirl stuff to happen, but yeah- I'd read it if they felt like they were ACTUALLY in love. They so DON'T.

Oh- and as for the journal title- Edward Cullen, sleep with your flash light on, cause you'll need it when the real vampires come out at night and give you a lesson about how good you really have it. Friggin sun walker. They so wanna be you and your glorious diamond like glory.

I've seen the movie like ... 3 times now.  First time at the opening night (gosh were the lines crazy, and we had to preorder the tickets) seats were kind of crappy, 2nd time was best time (we got awesome seats) third time was crap becaus eof crap seats.  But really, after the first time we (my friends and I) were just watching it for the lols.  I can't watch the movie ever agian without going "twinkletwinkle" in the back of mind in the meadow scene.

And you want to know something funny?  I enjoyed the movie more than the books :B  I think it was because it wasn't JUST about Bella and her whole MarySue-ness and you can get a little more idea or where Edward is coming from.    And yeah -- I find the whole "Im watching you in your sleep" thing totally creepy.  I don't care how pretty he is, whack him in the head and scream girlfriend.

The scenes that really bugged me were the scene where they making out and the scene  where get to be an almsot vamp.  First scene was awkward, it couldn't be anymore awkward if they were two people totally being PDA with eachother right on top of my locker and I needed to get into it.  And they weren't notcing me, and I was just standing there hoping they'd finish up and go away.

And the scene where's she in extreme pain?  I was confused -- it sounded less like she's in pain and more like she was in the throes of passion.  Anyone else get that impression?

I will Eventually watch Twilight when morbid curiosity get's the better of me. Until then my first impressions are grim.

I read part of the first book.  It was and is SH*T...  It is what it is... Teen Pron.  So 13 year old girls can get their kicks.  I was reading Isaac Asimov and John Norman when I was 13 - so I know I'm the exception. But Twilight makes Underworld look like a master piece.

Favorite vamp movie is Coppala's Bram Stokers:Dracula....Gary Oldman is my vampire.  ( He sorta revisted the Dracul charm as Serius in HP)  Yum!

Thanks for the run down of the movie Ark - Now I know where and when to vomit!  :lol:

*bows*

My pleasure Sliver :)

If it helps Sliver, i personally enjoyed the movie more than the books.  However, I still hate Bella -- there's no cure for that.

But yeah, after surfing around some forums over at proboards I am terrified and appalled at some of the fans reaction to negative criticsm mad by "anti's" (anti-twilighters).  It almost makes me ashamed to actually admit I like the books because of the rabidness certain members of the fandoms have become. 

http://twilightsucks.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175&"SPACE"page=1

I think Edward needs to keep his flashlight close at hand for those fangirls.

On Jan 16, 2009 6:31 pm, blackwinddragon said:
[quote]

If it helps Sliver, i personally enjoyed the movie more than the books.  However, I still hate Bella -- there's no cure for that.

But yeah, after surfing around some forums over at proboards I am terrified and appalled at some of the fans reaction to negative criticsm mad by "anti's" (anti-twilighters).  It almost makes me ashamed to actually admit I like the books because of the rabidness certain members of the fandoms have become. 

http://twilightsucks.proboards81.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175&"SPACE"page=1

I think Edward needs to keep his flashlight close at hand for those fangirls.

[/quote]

OMG HOLEY SHIT! One girl nearly got drwoned, one had her eye gauged, and another got a broken arm!! One girl even got thretened by a swithc blade!! Holey crap they're bat psycho!! O.O I'm SO glad Kiwis are insane like that!!! :cries:

On Jan 16, 2009 7:49 pm, arkillian said:
[quote]

O.O I'm SO glad Kiwis are insane like that!!! :cries:

[/quote]

I do hope you meant AREN'T.  And yeah ... like I said, makes me take another look at the fandom.  I mean I consider myself a part time Twihard and I know Twihards (a lot actually).  But I can't name a signal one who would take it as far as these fans have done.  What surprises me the number of girls attacking GUYs because of they don't like it.  Hello, boys are from Mars, girls from Venus? Totally different tastes.  I don't if it;s just me or not but Im not overly shocked by guys not reading romance novels.  And Twilight is basically one big fat romance novel -- without even the fun smut.  So, too me, not  abig shocker if a guy dislikes it.  I actually expect it - hence why I was shocked by the two college fanboys reactions the most (aside from the elementry school girls almost drowning another girl, and that staker one and the freak with the nails, oooh and mrs. switchblade.)

On Jan 16, 2009 8:38 pm, blackwinddragon said:
[quote]

On Jan 16, 2009 7:49 pm, arkillian said:
[quote]

O.O I'm SO glad Kiwis are insane like that!!! :cries:

[/quote]

I do hope you meant AREN'T.  And yeah ... like I said, makes me take another look at the fandom.  I mean I consider myself a part time Twihard and I know Twihards (a lot actually).  But I can't name a signal one who would take it as far as these fans have done.  What surprises me the number of girls attacking GUYs because of they don't like it.  Hello, boys are from Mars, girls from Venus? Totally different tastes.  I don't if it;s just me or not but Im not overly shocked by guys not reading romance novels.  And Twilight is basically one big fat romance novel -- without even the fun smut.  So, too me, not  abig shocker if a guy dislikes it.  I actually expect it - hence why I was shocked by the two college fanboys reactions the most (aside from the elementry school girls almost drowning another girl, and that staker one and the freak with the nails, oooh and mrs. switchblade.)

[/quote]

Yeah- Typo. I meant aren't ^^; LOL

I'm quite anti Twilight thank you, but I'm not joining the anti twilight faction, lol. I have enough knowing that I don't like it and I don't understand how people can like it. Vampires just got raped. There's no dark side to vampires there. Come on, that is the most important thing of a vampire.

Your review is so amusing, Arkie. I know I said it on DA, but I couldn't help but say it again. I'm not planning on watching the movie. The book made me vomit enough. I just can't listen to "You're impossible fast.... and strong." Let alone sit through that going on for an entire movie.

On Jan 17, 2009 2:44 am, Lhunuial said:
[quote]

I'm quite anti Twilight thank you, but I'm not joining the anti twilight faction, lol. I

[/quote]

I agree with you- I'm not joining it either. Twilight wasn't as bad as I expected. That whole Sue thing going on with Bella and Edward though... T.T Fail. I kinda hoped they'd have atleast a REAL feeling relationship so the fan girl could grasp that. That failed too >.>