Last night i had it out with an IM buddy ,but the way i see it was only a matter of time.

We disagree on alot of things ,but when i say something things don't turn out well. I care about not losing the person as a friend so when a convo starts up about something we have opposing views to i choose not to discuss. I don't go all "I don't wanna talk about this ,cuz i don't agree" i say "I'm not at liberty to say anything because you already know how i feel about that" ,because to me there's no point in talking about something we know we disagree on.

Last light i just finally came to the thought that scene i won't talk about it ,they might be tiring to ware me down into talking about it. I'm not sure who keeps being it up ,but it feels like THEY do.

The "current" issue is perverts and porn. I'm a "pervert" ,and i like porn. I know the person doesn't like either (more so due to upbringing) so i just do see what the big deal is. They've been complaining about perverted comments an their art (on dA ,no less) and i'm sure that can be annoying when you don't draw anything even so more as remotely sexy ,so how it it called for perverts are commenting in such ways?

I don't know how "bad" the condition is ,but the way they talk about it i'm figuring it's either 1. those or almost half ,half, or over half of her comments now OR 2. she's just talking about cuz it's just now because more noticeable all together.

I mostly hang around sites that allow porn ,and i'm mostly FA - porn AND furries. Another thing the person doesn't like - FURRIES.


Now here's what happened last night:

I finally admitted i'm a jealous person ,when she brought up something about someone else when we were talking about crafts. Up until i finally said something i just went along with how they do that.

They said "it was like walking an egg shells" when they talk to me sometimes. I'm the one that's holding my tongue most of the time ,but just not discussing somethings. If i just don't say anything how is that walking on egg shells? I already said i either like it ,or am indifferent to it. If you don't like it there's no farther to go into it. I'm gonna try to change your mind or tell you about people i know because i would take scene you don't like it you wouldn't care ,so no point in me wasting my time on it.

I guess to someone with a more aggressive personality I'm defensive and what not with my response like that. According to that it also looks like i can't handle disagreement. I openly disagreed saying I think it just shows i can agree to disagree. It's better then tiring to shove a point down someone else's throat, or doing ANYTHING to upset them farther. A stranger i might do ,but a friend that i would LIKE TO KEEP i can let be. If it's something i feel more strongly towards i'll just stop talking to them all together. To me your friends reflect the type of person you are. You have your differences ,of course,m but the basics are just the basics. What YOU feel is right or or wrong should be would your friend thinks. If you don't think it ok for men to beat women ,then i think that's something your friend should agree with ,too. THAT kind of stuff. (that's not an issue we have, just an example)

My problem is I went to remain the person's pal:

I like talking to people from other countries.

When we're not disagreeing or anything we're really cooly with each other (that's why to avoid the stuff).

It wouldn't feel right to stop being their friend because they've done things for me ,and i have yet to repay them.

When i talk to them I relay on getting actual honest ,which hasn't failed me yet. Sometimes i talk to them for the opposing views to think about an issue in more ways.

I know alot of this is MY problem. I have low self esteem ,and blah blah blah.

My automatic reaction is not talk to them for a while and give things time to change. If they change for the worse then it just is what it is. There would be no point in going on like this.

I know issues like this are sensitive, and maybe there's no "right" ,"wrong" ,or "resolve" ,but i'd like to at least try.

Anyone got anything?