Fire in the Belly

Merian's Latent Element  - 

The way magic functioned here was different.  Merian couldn’t do the things he'd learned to do with a gesture in childhood.  The only vestage left of his extensive magical prowess was the ability to see and smell magic.   Light spells, warmth spells, water purification, these he suspected he would have to do with a ritual.  Or not at all.  

The trouble was, light spells and warmth spells and water purification weren't the only things he'd learned in regards to his magic as a child.  The thing that worried him - scared the fuck out of him - was what this was going to do for his magical control   He had spent years mastering that so he would not blow people or things up when he got upset.  

 Thankfully, with the rest of his magic it seemed like his penchant towards random explosions had gone as well.  But something else had taken its place.  A proverbial fire in his belly awakened.  Latent element, they called it.  

Fire.  Of course it was fire.     

He was a powder keg about to blow.  All over again.  How long would it take to master it this time?  How many people would he hurt before he did? How many people would die?  

Of course the only alternative was to not master it.  And the outcomes in that direction were even worse.  

He thought back to the things he’d said to children over the years.   "Don't be afraid of it.” “It's a part of you.”  “If you learn about it it will serve you all your life."   

Had it all been kind hearted bullshit?  Not exactly.  He believed it all when he said those things to the children. They needed to hear it.   They needed to believe it about themselves.  They needed to know that they were not bad or wrong, that this was just a part of them they needed to learn to use like any other talent or skill.   Merian believed a large part of his job was instilling this before he left his charges to pursue their magical education. 

 Had he ever believed it about himself?  No.  Of course not.   

If you just stay calm. He told himself If you just stay calm, no one will get hurt.  You can’t control the magic here like you can at home - but you can control yourself.  

He breathed in deeply and let the breath out again.  Then he repeated the process, concentrating on the space between his hands.  On the fourth cycle something sparked and a flame slowly spread between his outstretched hands.  For a moment,  he felt panic spark in his belly along with it, but his slow breath soothed the feeling back down and he watched the fire curl between his outstretched hands. 

Maybe he could do this.  Maybe, this time, he could learn without hurting anyone at all.